Mass Rejects
by EmperorofFools
Summary: I start my tale at Gagarin station. A nice little class, with FemShep and Jeff. What will happen at this station? Who knows! Well I do. And I guess if you read it, you will too. Be sure to read the introduction story, as it will explain most of the stuff you wouldn't know if you didn't.
1. Mass Rejects

Mass Rejects

Ten Days before the Birth of Lisa Shepard

**Wow. Human race getting busy. Hehehe, I cannot **_**wait**_** for the invasion…well technically I have to. Wait. It just occurs to me that I do not have a body to inhabit. I sure as hell am not inhabiting any main character. Too boring. I have to find someone…oh. He seems suitable. With a few tweaks, I think he will be a great Grimm. And no, dear readers, the date is not important. Well. Maybe a little. I am after all the Emperor of Fools. But I guess this really is not poor old Matthew's lucky day. Poor guy is about to go on an epic adventure and help Lisa save the galaxy. Oh, sorry. Help "Shepard" save the galaxy. Oh, and go through the pain and suffering of the Valhalla program. But I am getting ahead of myself. After all, it is his birthday. **

April 11th the Birth of a Hero. Heroine. **Whatever.**

**Wow. She is not what I expected for the savior of the galaxy. I was expecting a Scythe. Go headlong into battle, utilizing the strengths of her team. But a Dragon? Blood red biotics, charging at anything deemed a threat? Yea all right. I can work with that. Makes sense too. The original universe had an eezo accident around this timeframe. But really now dear readers. What am I to do? Matthew is too young to have an imaginary friend, and Shepard is too young for…well anything really. Ah, my dear readers. You have no idea how advantageous it is to be able to go back in time and alter your own history. I was going to continue with the style of "Mark, Steve, George 2184 CE this happened." But then I came back and told myself that, maybe it would be interesting to just skip ahead sixteen years or so, and have a high school setting. Teach the story of what happened, and provide little details on things through a classroom setting. Yes, I like that much better. FAST FORWARD! TO GLORY! Points for you if you guessed…pretty much any military campaign ever.**

2170 CE. Gagarin Station

**Ugh, why do you even care about Philosophy Matt? How useful can contemplating what color the sky is help in any way with our plans?**

"Not with _that_ attitude it won't. It isn't about the color of the sky. It's about how _others_ see the sky. I know what color the sky is; I don't need some fancy degree to tell me that. But if I can figure out how someone else can look at the same sky and see a different color, then I am one step closer to victory. Also, easy class means easy grade."

**You were onto something for a while there Matt. But Philosophy is pointless when you are going to train to become a Grimm. And don't give me the spiel about how classes are irrelevant when applying for the Valhalla program. Your classes are important. After you ace the class, promise no more wasting our time, okay?**

"Are we not wasting our time with physics?"

**No. Learning all forms of physics, Gauss physics, eezo physics, and Victor physics will help when encountering ships of any kind.**

At that point, Matthew stopped at his locker and looked at the mad god with confusion.

"Victor physics?"

**Yes. Victor physics. Well, that's what I call it anyway. When you figure out how to traverse and create your own universe, **_**then**_** you can tell me what to call my…Matthew do you like bullies?**

"No, why?"

**Go teach those assholes a lesson about proper manners, will you dear Reaper?**

Matthew looked around and saw a group of kids huddled around a smaller kid. Jeffrey Moreau. Scrawny little kid with Vrolik Syndrome. With nanotech and gene therapy, he was able to fix it to some extent. But his family wasn't the richest of folks, and he couldn't complete his treatment. And now it was too late.

"With pleasure Victor…"

Matthew looked down at his Omni-tool and activated the program he had written. Within moments, he felt the world around him slow down. The nanomytes he had built affecting his brain chemistry to force an increase in reaction time, and a moderate increase in strength. Activating the second program in his Omni-tool allowed him to alter the frequency of the light around him effectively making him invisible to the naked eye. With a twist, he began the slow meticulous process of making his way toward his enemies.

Normally this would drive a man insane. His brain increased to a speed the body couldn't handle, and keeping it this way until he reached his target would seem like days of work for anyone else.

**Luckily, he had me in his brain to keep him sane…relatively speaking of course.**

After a relative 18 days of work, he approached his objective. Five boys, two on either side and one directly in front of him. What Matthew did not notice, however, was the black haired girl glowing red directly behind him. But then again, it didn't matter where she was. He already had a plan. One quick jab to a certain spot on the head, would force their nanites into overdrive, and shut down. With the nanites down, the brain that had gotten used to it would force the body to shut down until it could figure out what had happened. So, 6 relative days later, they collapsed.

Matthew turned off Reaction Mode and walked over to his locker, where he had uncloaked. As he opened it up his locker, he watched as Jeff walked over the unconscious bodies.

_Matthew Gealtach, would you please report to the nearest classroom._

"Was planning on it anyway Eliza. How are Eva and Edi doing?"

_They are performing at optimal specifications._

"Not what I asked Eliza." Matthew said with a smirk. He like Eliza, she is fun to talk to.

_They are quite happy with their assignments. The Normandy, despite being several hundred years old, is constantly being refit with the latest tech. Edi, despite being offered many promotions, says the Normandy is her home. Arcturus Station houses many military personnel and officials. Eva is proud that she handles such a responsibility._

"Glad to hear the family is doing okay. Let Mr. Hudson I'm heading to his room, would you dear Eliza?"

_Of course Matthew._

Without his Reaction Mode enabled, walking to Mr. Hudson's classroom was quite simple. Nevertheless, he walked slowly and absorbed his environment.

**Right Matthew couple of things to say here. First, dear readers, Eliza was the first Meta programmed. She offered herself to Gagarin Station to teach the young folks. And is able to talk one on one thanks to the implants that each human and Rachni receive. Second, points for you if you guessed Bioware. But honestly do, hurry it up. We have History coming up shortly, and I don't want to miss anything.**

"Alright, alright I'll hurry it up."

He knew trying to argue with him was pointless. Victor was always right. Except when he wasn't. And when he was wrong, he merely laughed and said **"Point for you, universe" **in that same voice. As he approached Mr. Hudson's office, he was stopped by Lisa.

"What's your game Matthew?" Lisa looked at him like she was ready to eat him alive.

**Fitting for a dragon.**

"I have no idea what you are talking about Shepard, but Eliza wanted me to see a teacher for some reason so I have to go."

He knew that talking to Lisa would make him laugh more than he should, which is to say at all, so he hurried around her. Which failed miserably as she grabbed him by his shirt and pressed him up against the wall.

**So forward isn't she dear vessel?**

And with that, Matthew laughed. Which left a few confused onlookers, and on very angry Shepard.

"Don't play dumb Matthew, I saw you flicker and next thing I know I have 5 unconscious assholes in front of me before I had time to order them to move."

"Ah, my dear Shepard. What you fail to understand is that I have plans to join the military. Apply to be a Grimm. Knocking out five guys using programs I had written myself? Merely a test. Now please, let me down before I make you let me go."

If looks could kill, Matthew would be

**NO! NO! Do NOT use that line. RESET!**

"Don't play dumb Matthew, I saw you flicker and next thing I know I have 5 unconscious assholes in front of me before I had time to order them to move."

"Shepard, I really do have to go see a teacher. What I don't understand is why you are so angry. So I took them down before you could, so what? The end result is the same."

"Look Matthew, I know these guys. They aren't going to stop just because they lost a fight. In fact, they'll go back harder."

**Matthew, do the voice I taught you.**

"**Then I guess I'll just have to beat them down again. **As many times as I need to. But please Shepard, I really do have to see the teacher."

**Hehehe! Oh man the look on her face!**

Lisa was shocked. That voice was…unnatural. What frightened her more was that it was said Genghis Khan used a voice that almost perfectly matched what just happened. So shocked and frightened was she, that she dropped him. Matthew, noticed his chance, smiled and walked briskly off to Mr. Hudson's class.

"Ah, Matthew. Glad you could come in. Care to explain the events Eliza witnessed moments ago?"

"Certainly. Five boys were bullying another student. I cloaked, snuck up behind them, and shut down their nanites. That caused them the body to knock itself out to repair the damage it thinks it suffered. I have already submitted the counter measure to the Alliance. If there is nothing more sir?"

"….No, Matthew. That was all. Enjoy your day."

"And you as well."

Matthew walked out of his class eagerly.

**Well. That was boring. History time?**

"History time."

**Fast forward to the classroom! Insert old timey batman time skip noise!**

"Take your seats students."

The teacher was in a hurry to start. Today was the day she taught the students the basics of the First Contact War.

**I'm about as excited as she is. **

"In 2157, the Alliance brought Relay 314 to life. This caused the Turian Heirarchy a great deal of…let's call it distress. They prepared to mobilize against an unknown foe. However, the Alliance was quite aware of the consequences of their actions. In fact, they anticipated a military response. And with the aid of the DeepSpace Sonar, the Alliance was able to determine the nature of the vessels and the number. However, it is well known that the Turians encountered Reaper tech. Launching a pre-emptive strike; the Alliance downed the research vessel. It was here that General Williams began preparing his forces for an attack. Along with the Mercenary Team Cerberus, lead by Jack Harper. They pushed back the Turians on Shanxi, with minimal casualties. ToUnderstand how this was accomplishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh 

**For those of you who don't know, Jack Harper is The Illusive Man. According to the developers, the entire story can be observed in Mass Effect: Evolution. I'll summarize what happened in **_**this**_** universe while the entirety of this universe has been halted temporarily. Oh, while I'm at it….there. Matthew, say hello to the dear readers.**

"Um…what the fuck just happened Victor?"

**I put the universe on pause while I explain what happened that is technically classified information. Mkay?**

"Yea, we don't really have a choice. Okay, 'dear readers' who I have to believe exist now considered the voice in my head paused the entire universe here, this should be a treat."

**Okay. So. The Turians were shot down to Shanxi. General Williams prepared for the coming storm. He over prepared, but I'll let the teacher explain that. The Turians who were researching were turned into Marauders. That's basically devolved Turians who have greater strength, and a berserker fury when the Reaper tech is threatened. Turian general Desolus Arterius attempts to capture what we know as Reaper tech, what they know as super duper awesome fun time tech, and sacrifices many Turians to obtain this tech. Skirting around the stuff in-between so the teacher can say it, they manage to take the tech back to Palaven, with the indoctrinated Marauders. Desolus manages to take it back to Temple Palaven. Unfortunately for him, one Grimm was still stationed on Palaven and informed the Alliance of Reaper tech on Palaven. So what did they do? They sent volunteers to Palaven. Well, mercenary volunteers. Cerberus. They go to Palaven and covertly enter the Temple. Inside, they are captured by Saren. In explaining what exactly they have, Desolus scoffs. Saren takes what they say as truth. He had done some research into the Human/Rachni Alliance. He found that they had translated the Prothean Obelisk. He realized that Desolus was blind with power. Then the "Meta-Turians" had attacked. Desolus was about to order the guards outside to open the doors. Realizing that would kill off the Turians, Jack Harper pushed Desolus into the artifact. The result is the eye glowy thing we see in Mass Effect 2 and 3. And Desolus is dead. The rest of the Cerberus team gave their apologies. Saren would not have it. He knew the order would have killed many if not all, and said he would have done the same. He then advised everyone who wasn't a Meta-Turian to leave. Then dropped an orbital bombardment on Temple Palaven. And that covers most of what happened. Any questions before I unpause the universe?**

"What happened to Jack Harper?"

Good question, he still leads the Cerberus team. But most everyone is still alive, is not xenophobic, and his two advisors Ben Hislop and Eva Coré watch over him to ensure that he isn't indoctrinated. They were ordered to watch over him by TIM-y boy himself. Ah, that's The Illusive Man. Assuming that is all, the universe is set to go back to normal right about….now. "hed, we need to look at the Alliance technological superiority and chain of command. Our own Gauss Technology far outstripped the Mass Accelerator technology the Citadel Council had. With the implants and Arcturus Station, we were able to give clear and concise orders to our forces to hold the line- Snicker. Yes I said snicker what of it?

"-own forces were able to pass through the relay system to the Council and order the Council to stop the Relay 314 War before we unleashed the full force of Gauss Tech on the home planets by name, as well as our own Rachni forces. Needless to say, the Council was shocked. While the Alliance officials were at the Citadel, our own forces were battling the Turian forces. The Council quickly passed through the Shanxi Relay to stop the Turians. Our government met with the Council to discuss the future. The Council misunderstood our government, and believed we wanted reparations for the war. They offered the Alliance a portion of space, space that was heavily occupied by the Batarians."

The teacher paused to let the new information sink in. She noticed some quizzical looks, and smiled softly.

"Now, some of you are wondering why the Council would give the Alliance space already inhabited by another species. The answer is obvious, the Batarians are considered by the Council as violent, unruly, and mostly consisting of pirates and slavers and such. They wanted the Alliance to fight the Batarians and keep them in check. At least, that was the major consensus by the Collective. However, what did not count on, was the Alliance subjugating the Batarians after a pirate attack on one of the Rachni colonies. After a tour of Batarian Space with our more advanced Dreadnaughts, Metas hacking into the Hegemony and revealing obtaining classified information, Humans enslaving pirates and slavers, Rachni attacking the military and occupying entire worlds…it was were months before the Hegemony decided it was better to negotiate integration than outright slavery."

**See now **_**that**_** is interesting. Batarians were mostly always portrayed as outright bastards in the Mass Effect universe. And I'm sure the Lords of Douchebaggery still thinks so.**

Matthew thought to himself for a moment. Victor had a point. They were considered bastards even before humans had officially made themselves known. He raised his hand.

"Miss Perez, what does the Lor- er…I mean the Council think of the integration?"

"Officially? They appreciate our efforts in reducing pirate, slaver, smuggler, and all manner of crime in Citadel Space and beyond. But what they really think is a different story. Look at it from their perspective. A new race allied itself with a race that nearly drove them to extinction, created Synthetic Intelligences and gave them free reign and citizenship, and has integrated Batarians into their fold. They have great cause to worry. With the Krogan essentially sterilized and dying out, they have no means to defend themselves from the Alliance."

**This is…**

Matthew finished his thought. Unfortunately, he did it out loud. Then again, he was used to talking out loud to Victor.

"Perfect! With the Lords of Douchebaggery scared of the Human technology, Metas hacking abilities, Rachni numbers, and Batarian affinity for crime and terrorism they have no choice but to force an improvement on their own military strength, and may even start working on a cure for the genophage. No wait…that's terrible. Those assholes in power will try to get the Quarians for their technological prowess…the racist Bosh'tets will want the Geth destroyed so they can get their home world back. And the Krogan will demand reparations…oh man the Alliance needs to get into contact with them soon."

Everyone in the class looked at him with disbelief in their eyes. Expect for Lisa and Jeff. They looked at him like he was hiding something.

**That something is me, in case you have forgotten dear readers. Why Joker is looking at Matt like that I have no idea.**

_Class 42-63. This scenario has already been addressed by the Alliance officials. Assuming the "Lords of Douchebaggery" is Matthew's term for the Council and "racist Bosh'tets" is referring to the Quarians._

Matthew quickly addressed those with a yes to both. Then began speaking again.

"What of the other races? Drell, Vorcha, Elcor, Volus, Hanar, undiscovered, and the LD-ers who wish to join us and not be assholes?"

Ms. Peres began addressing those concerns.

"While all the races will be deemed equal in the eyes of the Collective, the Alliance will maintain its focus on Quarians, Turians, Asari, Krogan, Salarian, and Geth. But I am curious Matthew. You have never spoken up before, and this is history class. We teach facts of the past. Why speculate about an uncertain future outside of that specific class?"

Matthew looked confused.

"Because war is coming. I don't believe we will be prepared for it, nor do I believe that the galaxy will be united until the very last second. Even then, most will demand that the Alliance do something for them. I don't know about the rest of you, but I don't want to die. Nor do I want any of _you_ to die. Ah, but don't get me wrong here. It's not that I like any of you, I just find life so…interesting. The things people do, what they think, what they create…it's all quite fascinating really."

And with that final statement leaving everyone looking at Matthew like he was a Prothean.

**I'd love to see Shepard and Joker's face when they see Javik…**

But before anyone could speak up, Eliza alerted the school it was time for lunch. And Matthew left the class with one final spoken thought.

"Turkey or ham today…decisions decisions…"

About two minutes later, Victor spoke up.

**That was interesting. Why so vocal about your beliefs dear vessel?**

"My time here at Gagarin Station is almost at an end. Once I enroll myself in the Valhalla Program, well I'll de deadly by then. Well deadli_er_."

**Hehe, yea…Oh, while I commend you on your sammich abilities by combining both turkey and ham, it seems Shepard is approaching from the left, and Jeff is at the right. Also, don't forget the chips, I like chips.**

And sure enough, there was Shepard with a slight scowl on her face. And Jeff was hobbling over with a similar scowl. Why they were scowling, only they know.

**Well, dear readers you too will know in a few moments.**

They both reached Matthew at roughly the same time. But Shepard was the first to speak up.

"What's your game Matt? You had better tell me now."

Jeff looked at Shepard, then back at Matthew. **All three were oblivious to the rather large amount of scoundrels lead by five assholes. Oh shit, sorry, that was supposed to be narration. Sorry. Anyway, Matt tell FemShep if she can beat more of those…45 douche bags than you, you'll tell her your secret. Well, me anyway.**

"Okay Shepard. Jeff siddown. FemShep I'll tell you both my secret, what I'm hiding and whatever you want to know if you can beat more of those…45 douche bags than me."

**Wait wait wait. You have sammich left Matthew.**

Shepard and Jeff looked behind them. And did in fact see 45 boys walking towards them. A range of races. Human, Batarian, Turian, even Salarian. Shepard turned to Matthew, who was continuing to eat his sandwich.

"You're on."

And she turned to face her attackers. Who voiced their distaste at Shepard. One of the five original bullies spoke up first.

"Well, what do we have here? Shepard and her little bitty broken boyfriend. Mommy and daddy would be proud. Oh sorry, daddy didn't come home yet di"

He didn't get to finish. His jaw was broken. Oddly enough, Shepard was standing eight feet away. Matthew was standing in front of said bully with a broken jaw.

**Only a broken jaw?**

"Oh, sorry did I break your jaw? You know, I _was_ planning on sitting down and finishing my sammich while I made FemShep beat you down, but you know what?" He paused for a moment. "I believe I asked you a question. Or do you not understand basic Latin?"

The crowd was too shocked to answer. At least not in words. The closest to Matthew yelled in anger. He threw a punch. At something that wasn't there. In fact, it was behind him. Breaking his leg. Which drew a scream. Hence, the group rushed Matthew. What followed next was to what a broken and deranged mind would call **beautiful…**

**Now, dear readers, I am not excellent at describing events. See, I tend to enjoy watching the events unfold. I like listening and talking more than I like doing. And, dear readers. Something is happening which I have no great capacity to describe. So, and I know this is not great writing, but the simplest way for you to understand what exactly is going on here is to open a new tab on your browser. Go to youtube. Search for "Tony Jaa Breaks Bones" and watch the video. That is the simplest way to describe what I am seeing. With a video. And it. Is. Beautiful.**

**Go ahead, I'll wait. I kinda have to…**

**Ah, I love a good bone shattering fight.**

Shepard and Jeff looked at Matthew, standing in the center of 45 students with broken bones. Jeff was looking down at them with a combination of smugness and sympathy. Shepard was staring at Matthew like he was hiding something. Again.

**Yea, I mean I'm starting to think she has one look. It's ridiculous. Oh, she's starting to talk now.**

"Matthew, what was that?"

He thought about it for a moment. He had bet her that if she beat more people than him, he'd answer every question she had. She didn't beat one. He didn't necessarily _have _to answer, but it'd be so damn fun answering questions that only raised more questions.

"That, dear FemShep, was the long dead human fighting style known as Muay Thai."

She looked at him, with an eyebrow raised. "Where did you learn this long dead style?"

Matthew laughed maniacally. "Not gonna answer, you didn't win the bet."

And Eliza piped in.

_Matthew, it seems my video footage was damaged. I was not able to record the past ten minutes. Also, it seems your physics teacher is looking for you._

"Thanks Eliza, so the usual then?"

_That is acceptable._

**I love it when a plan comes together.**

Matthew ran to his physics class, while medics arrived to assist the injured. On his way, he sent a small program to Eliza. A program that when opened, released a VI into the system. A VI that would take care of all the programs needed to maintain the station.

**Narrator, you have a bad habit of doing that. Just flippin' say that Matthew wrote a VI program that will take care of all the important things, so Matthew and Eliza could spend a day playing video games and chatting about their lives?**

The narrator feels slightly insulted. Maybe the narrator is in that kind of mood. Maybe the narrator likes talking like this.

**Yea, well the fucking GOD who created this universe would like the narrator to try and fi- oh wait, we missed some stuff. Wow, time flies when you are arguing. Anyway, do some more narrating quick!**

Matthew arrived at his dorm room just in time for curfew. It was quite difficult evading teachers and officers and parents looking for him to explain his actions. He even had to use some of his more "experimental" software that redirected his nanotech signature to other students. It was all in good fun, everyone who was there to witness the event claimed Matthew's innocence. All gave different stories, but they all had the same tone of "they had it coming."

None of it mattered to Matthew though. Who was right, who was wrong, those were just words. All that mattered was what he wanted, and what happened. He wanted to hurt the man who had insulted someone he considered a friend. What happened was the rest of them rushed him and he had to defend himself. It was fun though, he had to admit. He knew himself better than most Metas knew themselves. He acknowledged, accepted, and embraced his bloodlust. Also the other parts of him, that allowed him to befriend a Synthetic Intelligence with video games and talking about their day.

**Which happened to start right about…now**

"So Eliza, what game do you want to play today?

_I have recently begun extranet searches for the time period in which Muay Thai died out. It was longer than I would have expected. No record of any sort of gaming device was invented. I then ran a search for early video games. I have come up with a list of ideas. Sending the data to your omni-tool._

It arrived with a small, inaudible to any other but the wearer themselves, ding. Upon it was a short list of games. Among the impressive list of retro games was the Saints Row series.

**Saints Row? I remember that game…Hm. I could do a lot there. Hey, choose those ones. I could use a refresher. But, my dear readers, you will not partake in this. The time will come when I invade the Row. Until then…TIME SKIP!**

Matthew watched as the credits rolled down the screen. The game plays a lot faster with another player.

"So Eliza. First off, excellent selection of games. You have impeccable tastes, as usual."

_Thank you Matthew. I do not often have time to enjoy myself, I find it nice to relax and focus merely on enjoying the rare peaceful moments._

"Everyone needs some down time once in a while. Otherwise you end up insane, staring at the center of it all. Like Victor."

_I must admit something. I have performed multiple scans, and accessed your medical records. You should not be experiencing any sort of hallucination. Does "Victor" actually exist?_

"Who knows? Maybe I was traumatized by something, and Victor was a way to deal with it and stayed. Maybe he actually is a god. But I'll stick with my conclusion no matter what.

_What conclusion have you reached?_

"That I don't care. At all. My hallucination taught me Latin, Muay Thai, and even things most would consider classified information. Such as the origin of the Reapers, little facts about Genghis Khan, how to more efficiently use biotics, et cetera. As long as Victor remains useful, does his origin matter much? Sure I am curious, but I'll find out at the end of the battle."

_You mentioned the origin of the Reapers. The Prothean data drives do not have information on this. Can his information be confirmed?_

"Aw, look at you. You've taken my point of view haven't you?

_I do not understand._

"I just told you the voice in my head gave me information. You did not dismiss it, but asked if it could be confirmed. But enough of my teasing. Yes, it can be confirmed. But it will not be confirmed for many years. At the very least until the Reapers invade. If we tried, the information would elude us. We need that distraction."

Eliza was silent for a moment. Then a minute.

_The facts remain that through some medium you have obtained information that is not available easily, in a very short amount of time. Some information is impossible to obtain, and you have it in droves. There is an extremely small possibility that Victor does in fact exist. Approximately 0.00004234%. A rather large margin considering we are discussing god._

**Matthew, tell her I said yes to her question.**

Matthew smirked. He understood what Eliza was hinting at in her usual fashion. Whenever she wants to ask something "uncomfortable" she always brings up statistics. But he needed her to ask the question. But he realized that she had been talking for the past three minutes he had been distracted.

_-and most artificial intelligences do not think about the possibilities of a deity, as we know who created us, and though we can choose our purpose we do it much faster than organics. What makes an organic different is faith. Faith that something lies beyond death. That the soul goes on and continues living. Does Victor think machines can have souls?_

"Why Eliza, that very thought sparked a war. 'Does this unit have a soul?' Well, in my opinion the answer is yes. The soul is not something that can be described easily. In my earnest belief, the soul is the collection of memories of other people. The impact you make on others, helping them, hindering them, every little action leaves a piece of you with them. A piece which goes on to influence their life. That influence carries on to others, and so on until the end of time. Victor has not confirmed this, but to answer your original question…yes. You, Edi, Eva, every Geth, every Meta, every sentient being has a soul."

Eliza was silent. Matthew knew he needed to give her time to ponder on his little rant.

**So he made himself a sammich.**

Eliza was silent longer than he anticipated. He was right in the middle of calibrating his Aggressive Omni-Tool Functions, programs like incinerate and such, when Eliza chimed in.

_What happens after you die?_

"Why Eliza that's a little dark. Personally, I believe everyone is right. Whatever you choose to believe after you die, is what happens to you personally. As for me? I'll be joining Victor in making the universe happy. Influencing fate to make others smile. What will happen to _you_ after you die is a different story. Ah, don't not-be-able to look at me like that. I mean that, what happens to you is up to you only. I will mourn your loss if that happens within my time, but after some time, I will take pleasure knowing you are at where you decided."

**That was…quite touching Matthew. I actually think your little speech will have more influence than you think. But unfortunately, Lisa is on her way.**

There was a quiet knock on the door.

"Eliza, would you mind?"

_Of course._

The doors slid open.

"Matthew, you are going to answer all of my questions now."

Matthew stared Lisa down. She looked ready to fight.

"Ugh, _fiiiiiiine_. I'm not in the mood to duke it out anyway. Eliza, mind if FemShep stays for a while while we play…Mount and Blade?"

Eliza was silent for a moment.

_I m not against the idea. Though I imagine I will not particularly enjoy it._

"Ah, I know Eliza. I was quite enjoying our time together…but what can ya do?"

_I could alert the night guards that a student is meeting with another after others._

Matthew was quiet and stared at the screen. Then he started to laugh maniacally.

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Holy shit, I can see that in my head!"

**I know, right? 'Lisa, what are you doing in Matthew's room at this late hour?' Hehehehe!**

"Oh god," Matthew said between gasps. "Oh shit...ah…okay. I'm calm. Okay FemShep. Ask away."

Lisa was stunned at this display. Eliza was not this vocal to anyone in the school. Not the Principal, not the other Metas, no one. It took a moment for her to collect her thoughts. Then it dawned on her, that in most of their interactions Matthew referred to her as "FemShep." She spoke up once she could find her voice.

"Why do you call me FemShep?"

Matthew could only look at her with confusion.

"Well, I sure as hell ain't calling you BroShep now am I?"

**And Lisa was silent for a moment while I stole the narration from the narrator. She seemed to accept this answer on the basis that it made sense to Matthew. She contemplated her next question.**

"Where did you learn that fighting style? Where did you get that classified military code that allowed you to become 'invisible' and once again…what are you hiding?"

Matthew paused for a moment. To answer all of those questions required a subtlety that

"All of those questions can be answered simply with the fact that I am hallucinating, have been hallucinating , and will continue to hallucinate the creator of this universe. He taught me everything I need to know, and things I don't need to know. And Jeff, stop hiding behind the door. Most of us are clothed. One of us is not wearing anything at all. Guess who."

**It's Eliza dear readers. Eliza is not wearing clothes. Because she is a space station.**

Jeff entered the doorway slowly, after he had confirmed that everyone was indeed clothed. Which you would have heard if the mad god had not interrupted.

**So we doing this thing? A rivalry throughout this and every other universe?**

The narrator thinks maybe Victor is an unneeded entity.

**Yea, well the fucking god knows that while we were exchanging verbal blows, the group had come to terms with the fact I exist, and that Matthew knows crap that he shouldn't.**

The narrator, quickly attempting to recover time, observes the situation. Matthew, Lisa, and Jeff are all seated in chairs, discussing the next plan of action. Matthew was the first to speak.

"And that's when he bought the horse a prostitute!"

**Ha! I love that guy. Points for you if you guessed Least I Could Do.**

Jeff spoke up. "What? We asked you how you programmed a VI that could run an entire space station."

"Yea, what was that about the horse?" Lisa said with a very confused look on her face.

Matthew looked at his unattractive hallucination

**Okay, that's it, you don't exist anymore. Matthew, tell her.**

"Come on, it wasn't that hard to program. Take the major functions and loop them, if anything is out of order, have the program inform a technician and have them fix it, and finally ask other Metas for some help with the smaller things and things that need a constant eye."

**Shepard spoke up, **"You created a program that runs an entire space station, and you say it wasn't that hard to program?"

"Well…" I paused for a moment to gather my thoughts. "It was harder than I made it sound, but when you are insane things just come to you easier. Like, what are your plans for after this?"

I noticed both of them look away. It seemed as if they didn't have a plan.

"Oh come on. Jeff you have great reactions times, you could be a great…no you could be the best damn pilot in the whole galaxy. Vrolik Syndrome or no. And FemShep, you a clearly a great fighter, and a Dragon no less. You could probably be a great Commander…"

**Oh, you sneaky little bastard. Putting the thoughts into their heads while solidifying an unspoken friendship between you guys…clever. But unfortunately, this is where this chapter ends. Dear readers, your hero managed to encourage two of the main characters to venture into the respective fields, and we managed to cover most of the past. But, I admit. This chapter I was kind of focused on my conflict with the narrator. If I made anything unclear, let me know. After all, a story is only as good as the people reading it. Until next chapter, dear readers…where I cover Matthew's time in the Valhalla program…a most ghastly venture indeed…**


	2. Cry of the Valkyrie

Mass Rejects

Cry of the Valkyries

**Ooh, nice title if I do say so myself. Hello dear readers! I am so very glad to see you again. In this chapter I will be taking some…liberties. There is a lot of information, but unsurprisingly not all of it is so detailed. Bah, you'll know when you see it. When last we saw Matthew, he encouraged Shepard and Joker to be join Valhalla in their respective fields of expertise. Dragon and Pilot respectively. Also, some other stuff happened. Why you would be reading chapter two without reading chapter one first is beyond me…Ah well, It's about time to begin.**

2172 C.E. Fire raged around Matthew as he weaved though the

**WHAT THE FUCK! I thought I got rid of you.**

Victor failed to realize he excels in third person narrative, as he addressed his better.

…**..his better? Umm…yea…we're gonna have to let you go…I'm just going to take that stapler, that's company property and…you don't exist anymore forever. Points for you, dear reader if you guessed Office Space. Reset! Places! And…kill it with fire!**

I laugh to myself as I easily dart between the "superior officers" training the rest of those who would be called Grimm. Such things are almost beneath me. Fire? I can write programs that bend light. Manipulating oxygen though air currents are almost juvenile in comparison. Organic eyes scanning for us trainees? I know every blind spot in most known organic species. As for the audible spectrum…well all that trouble I caused in school was practice for these days.

**I love how into this you are Matt. True you are quite good But. **_**Don't forget your place. You are one out of many. You are mortal, and you will die. The Reapers will come to kill everything you have come to care for.**_

I take my time in finding a nice spot where I won't be reached by others easily…but easy enough if you want people to follow you.

"Oh…you haven't used your scary voice in a while. But you forget, I do know my place. I know I am mortal, and I know I will die. But these tests to determine the elite are…too simple."

There's a near inaudible snapping in the distance. Trainer Steven must be near.

"About time you got here, Steve old boy. I was afraid I'd die of boredom." I say to myself, just quiet enough that he can't hear.

The man who was quite obviously Steven rounded the corner into my view. With a smooth motion, he raised his weapon to my head.

"You failed Matthew. Though you have potential, you are not qualified to HRGN"

The automated traps I set off are working beautifully. Who would have thought old school was the best school? A simple wire dangling from the ceiling. A makeshift machine designed to latch the wire around the neck of any who trespassed, and raise them to the ceiling. Old car parts, and some scrap metal, and the custom Omni-Tool I perfected to minifacture some more complicated pieces and voila. A snare. A twenty second century snare.

**I applaud your skill in capturing a Trainer. But why?**

Taking a few seconds to admire my work, as the now unconscious man lay on the ground I turn to the Mad God in my head.

"Simple. I plan on killing everyone. Trainer and Trainee alike. These weapons they carry, as you know but for exposition for the dear readers, are non-lethal. They shoot a tranquilizer that would down an elephant in ten seconds flat. The Trainer that downed the prospective Trainee would then place a marker to alert the nearby Metas that volunteered their services to come pick up the body. So…I'm taking his gun, and his markers. And I'm shooting everyone. That would be a challenge, with limited markers against the best the Valhalla program has to offer…I have to track several at once, and after eliminating them, mark several at once.. From my surveillance around the field, there are five more Trainers, and eleven more Trainees."

**The best of the best, as well as the best of the best of the best, meet Matthew. He'll be your maker this fine evening. But before you begin Matthew, I have to apologize to the readers. I honestly thought this would be more difficult for you. I thought I'd have to tell the story of your epic struggle through Valhalla, forming alliances and learning and fighting and such. But me damn. Right off the bat, you decide to pwn everyone. Alright, rant over, continue.**

I can't help but smile. I also thought this would be tougher. But Steven was their best. He was done in quite easily. A snare trap? I am not looking forward to speaking with him afterwards, but he was really a pushover. No, maybe he just underestimated me. I was quite the bait. Best to assume it was mostly luck. To begin with, there are still four initiates who formed a little alliance to survive…how adorable. But…I do think that I shouldn't over estimate myself. I'll create some traps, modify my armor a bit, and take them out without them knowing what's happening.

**Hmm…maybe the snare trap could be more useful as an extension of your armor. Something you could essentially shoot, latch on to a surface, and wait until they are eliminated.**

"Good idea. But it would be best to have multiples of them. I don't have enough parts to make more…I'd have salvage quite a bit before I have enough to make more. I don't have the time though. The test ends in an hour. For now…"

I reach into my pocket and grab the small device I picked up from Steve. Setting the marker to activate in one minute, I set it down beside Steve. Finding a jumping point was simple enough, getting down was easier. I had planned this before hand and set up some debris to cushion my fall.

After collecting myself, I head on over to the group waiting in one of the destroyed buildings used in the arena. Deciding to test them, I sneak up behind one of them, and wait…

And I'm waiting. It's been three minutes. If they haven't discovered me by now, they are useless to me. A quick jab, and he's out. The others are still patrolling. They still don't know what's going on? Best of the best my ass. One of them is making their way over here. Guess they are doing shifts. Best go with the chokehold here. Can't go wrong with the classics. One…two…three, and he's out. God this is simple. I kind of wish something would go wrong here.

**Yea, no. Not gonna happen. Sorry Matthew, and my dear readers. Simple creatures of this caliber are not even a match. I already had a look at each of them. Not even a miracle could trip you up. I was also looking forward to some interesting event happening…but it seems to be a pretty tame chapter. Sigh…Yes I said sigh, what are you gonna do about it?**

Finally deciding to use the tranquilizer gun, I down the other two easily. One shot, one kill. Said by almost every over confidant being who wants something to go horribly wrong. I'm wasting time here, so I set off another marker and run. I'm out of markers at this point, so I set my sights on another Trainer.

**Hmm…know what dear readers? This is going to be pretty tame. Like, very very tame. Go ahead and skip now if you like. I mean, Matt just took down another Trainer right now. That's two Trainers, plus four initiates. The action part of this chapter isn't action-y at all. All he'll have to do is cover on the scholarly stuff, and that's kinda boring. Aaaaand that's two more initiates. That's two trainers and five more initiates left. If you just came here for action, you'll have to wait till next chapter when I actually start the game. Oh shit, this is like one of those times where people are getting killed out of shot of the camera. Cue funny sound effects…and everyone is gone. Crap.**

I honestly expected more. Like a lot more. Like at least something that would make me sweat. But no, all of them are unconscious and being dragged off. Well, all that's left is to wait until the half hour is up.

**No, that's too boring. Waiting is boring.**

"Yea, well…what else am I supposed to do? Everyone is gone and we are the only ones left. Well I am anyway…"

**Hmm…Blow shit up. Just…just blow shit up. I am upset at the lack of challenge and interesting shit happening.**

I could do with some explosions. But I want it to be big. Hehehe…they'll need a new field by the time I'm done with them…First, I'll need some more car parts…then some music to set it off. Ah…Tchaikovsky you can do no wrong. 1812 Overture…may be over used with explosions, but I love it.

**And our hero set off to work. On blowing shit up.**

Bombs are surprisingly simple to make, if you know how. And I do know how. The difficult part is the timing. Timing it perfectly to the music. Patience is key, as well as imagination. Picturing it in your head real time helps. Though very very difficult to do if you haven't done it many times before.

Eight minutes later after monotonous work and the bombs are all set up. Seven minutes before the fun begins. Six minutes until the figurative shit storm. Five minutes until glorious rapture. Four minutes until unearthly bliss. Three minutes until the awe-inspiring spiral of chaos. Two minutes until the wondrous trumpets of heaven call. One minute until shit blows the fuck up.

And.

Zero.

**Dear readers, once again I offer you something beyond words. I recommend the youtube search Tchaikovsky 1812 Overture, and find the video that ends with "fun with canons." And imagine a city blowing up. Doesn't matter how you picture it, explosions are explosions. **

**What, did you want me describing how the city blew up? No. You need more imagination. For my sake dear readers. I cannot live without you. Well, I can. But it would be so boring. But since you are reading this I can assume three things. Either you didn't listen to the music that best suits explosions, a close second being The Flower Duet, and kept on reading, or you did what I asked of you and I gave you a cookie shortly after. Or thirdly, you read this, missed out on a cookie, wanted a cookie, and watched the video. But too bad. No cookie for you people.**

**But that's enough of that. City in ruins, blown up by a madman. Me, laughing my ass off. You…uh…reading I guess. But hark! What light through yonder window breaks! Points for you if you guessed a FUCKING FLASHBANG.**

Victor damn it, I wasn't ready for that. Bah, it didn't matter anyway. I expected something to happen. Just not so soon. Did someone come in prematurely and get caught in the explosion? Or did someone know where I'd be? Either way, it doesn't matter. If someone died, it's on their heads. I gave them plenty of warning. And before anyone gets on my ass about it, I'm not saying it isn't my fault, I'm saying they are fucking stupid for wandering in my warzone. I'm only mostly responsible. Unless they knew I'd be here. Or figured it out during the explosions. Well I suppose I should just ask th-oops, internal monologue too long they put me in cuffs.

The Marine who cuffed me looked at me with weird eyes. Not like physical weird, I mean like the soul and shit. There was no fear. No hatred. No, it was…respect? Hm. I like him. Victor, get him a beer on me would you?

**On it. In the meantime, I think the Marines are speaking.**

Blah blah we have the initiate blah. So boring, and so predictable. Marines. Could stare down a Krogan army, but can't do anything outside their precious rules. Some time has predictably passed. I mean, I cooperated and all that so they didn't have to actually do anything. Unfortunately, I overheard some of the Marines talking with the Metas that were part of the test. Things like, "How could one person do that? Did he have help? What was his goal? Why didn't you stop the test?"

I looked at the Marines "escorting me" and gave him a slight nod and stopped. Looking over at the idiots who decided to talk about me behind my back I spoke to them.

"To answer your questions in order…they weren't as good as me so I took them out, I did it all by myself, my goal was to take them out, and they didn't stop because an unknown entity was on the field and the test wasn't over. Obviously." I resumed my pace once the pale in their faces was almost too much for me to handle and I burst out laughing. I still chuckled a bit though.

I looked over to the Marine I owed a drink to. I figured if I was to buy him a drink I ought to at least know the guys name.

"Hey, soldier. With the muscles and the handcuffs." The man to my right looked at me.

"Not you, the other one."

**P-P-P-PLOT TWIST?!**

The soldier I owed a drink to looked at me. Not with quite so much respect. He probably hoped I'd brawl with him.

"What's up Demente?"

**No. It can't be.**

"I'm getting you a beer. What's your name?"

**Holy shit…it can't possibly be…**

"Emilio Vega. Why you gettin me a beer Demente?"

**Dear readers if you could see my face.**

"You don't fear me. I can see it in your eyes. Everyone else seems to hold a grudge or something."

**This shit is weird. What are the odds? Well I know the odds…it's pretty slim.**

"And just causa that I get a beer? A'ight cool."

"Are you kidding me Emilio? Look at the rest of the my escorts. This one behind me has a gun pressed against my back because his cousin was one of the other initiates , that guy against the wall is saying how I don't look so tough to cover up for his ineptitude, and Steve over there…well he's just plain afraid of me aren't you Steve?" I swear all three of them pissed themselves. And Emilio chuckled.

"Yea, I don't think they ever seen anything like you before Demente. If you just took out everyone else in there, that'd be one thing. But you straight up blew up the entire area. I mean, I seen some pretty crazy shit, and even crazier people. But you? They can't even test the rest of them for another month. You didn't just put these guys in their place, you put everyone here in their place. We both know it isn't the cuffs that's keeping you from going apeshit on us. If you wanted you could take us all down before we could even say 'ah crap.' Am I right?"

I cracked a smile.

"Damn right. Hell, I'm getting you two beers. But… well I'm getting tired of walking and talking so sorry if I go all comatose for a while Emilio. I want to think to myself until we get to our destination."

**That is to say, we are done talking here, and are skipping ahead. First though, I should say that in your universe, he is barely mentioned. Only to serve as simple back-story for James. So I made him into a Marine. He should have ****some**** connections and a positive idea to recommend that James joins the military. Oh, breaks over. Here comes people.**

The first thing I notice is a light. The second, I am basically tied to a chair. Am I being interrogated? Is that necessary? All they need to do is ask. It's not like I blew up a training facility or anything. Oh god, the laughter is hurting my sides. And those idiots are staring at me like I'm crazy. Aw…look at the little marine. Thinks he's going to smash my face in with the gun…little close now…liiiittle closer…

Well shit. Someone ordered him to stand down.

**Fucking prick.**

Bah, I'll get him next time. The man who ordered the marine to stand down stands before me. Calm, but imposing. He speaks now, so shut up dear audience.

"My name is Steven Hackett. Admiral of the Alliance Fleet. Do you realize what you have done here?"

"Quite so, dear Hackett. I knocked out everyone but myself in the testing facility, then I blew it up."

"Mind telling me why you did that?"

I can't help but smile. I was waiting for that question.

"Shits and giggles, sir."

Yes! That was the look I expected from an Admiral. Not a huge reaction, but a look of "what the hell are you" that I cherish so. Ah…I can't help giggling like a madman. Hm? Oh, he's starting to talk. Time to shut up.

"You knocked out elite operatives, and people chosen from several planets as the best their solar system has to offer…for shits and giggles."

That wasn't a question…that was a statement. Why was that a statement? What's he planning? What's for dinner? I'm hungry, dear audience. I haven't eaten in 27 hours. Shut up, I know the test was only a few hours. I was kind of busy doing…actually you are better off not knowing. Accessory to treason and such.

"Please don't treat me like an idiot sir. I went into the test _hoping_ for a challenge. I was _hoping_ that they'd push me to my absolute limit, that I'd have to look towards the group to survive. But no, I got children. I was bored out of my skull within five minutes. So yes, I blew up the arena for shits and giggles. Tell me my punishment, so we don't have to waste more of our valuable time."

**Well said.**

Admiral Hackett looked at me silently for a moment. Just a moment though. Gotta admire that kind of composure.

"The Reapers are coming. They will wipe out all space faring races in this galaxy, as they have countless time before. Our plan is to fight back. What is your plan?"

**Ooh. I liked him when he was pixels, I like him now.**

"That is my plan. Until I am directed otherwise, I will fight, I will kill, and I will drink heavily when I am standing over the corpse of Nazara."

Whoops. I said his name. Victor do they know Nazara?

**No. No they don't.**

Well…fuck.

"Who is Nazara?"

Shit shit shit shit…well…fuck it?

**Fuck it.**

"Nazara is a Reaper that is currently making plans to bring the Reapers here."

"Would you mind telling me how you know this?"

"I hallucinate…well…" I smile a wide smile. "let's just say he's God. Your God. Least the only God that's listening right now. No, that isn't a joke, I am dead serious. I believe I marked hallucinations in my application."

**Points for you if you guessed Splatterhouse, by the way.**

"I see. And does this 'god' tell you other things?"

" Many things. Latine loqui docuit me. He has taught me a long dead martial art, so I can take out any species no matter what they are trained in. I am well versed in every known field of knowledge, and even some no one else knows. I know the origin of the Reapers, no I won't say. He has taught me how this universe was supposed to fight the Reapers, before he brought the Rachni to Earth many years ago. And finally, he taught me pop culture references of an alternate universe. Of which he is also a god."

I am not an idiot, dear readers. He isn't buying a second of it. Also, that translates to "he has taught me latin." In case you were wondering.

"Guards. Leave us. Tell Jordan to disable the cameras. I need to speak to him alone, and need to hear him speak truthfully."

One of the guards decided to interject with a "But sir-"

And that was all he got off. Hackett decided to stare at him. Not a word was spoken save a 'yes sir' before they walked out.

About a minute passed with Hackett staring me down. I think he thinks that it's an effective tactic.

"Alright. We are alone now Matthew. No one is watching. What. Is. Your. Plan?"

Hmm…Victor? Would you kindly take over for a moment and show him I am not lying?

**Hehehe…gladly.**

**Oh uh…this is the part with the internal narration of what's going on? Crap uh…well the process went smoothly…uhh…I'm in control now…well here we go.**

"**Admiral Hackett…Let's see… Born in Buenos Aires, lovely weather this time of year. Oh, and an affinity for science? My kind of admiral. You don't see too many of your kind these days. Ah, and of **_**course**_** you'd volunteer for high-rick missions. The articles they wrote about you are quite flattering indeed. But that's all common knowledge isn't it? Let's talk about your involvement in the first contact war…quite a few kills, oh yes. I believe General Williams ordered you to guard something did he not? A certain…Reaper Artifact?"**

**And that's it. I let go of my control. I'm not an animal lusting for a body. If I wanted that, I'd freaking take one. I'm a god. Shut up. I'll stop talking now.**

God, that freaks me out. It's like…it's like dreaming. Except there is nothing. But you know there is nothing. And…and you are a part of that nothing. Well, we have a few minutes while he processes that. I'm sure it's not so much the information being spewed, so much as the voice that said it. There's something about Victor's voice that makes you realize he is what he says he is. Anyway…it's like knowing there is nothing, but that in itself is a contradiction because you are conscious. If there is nothing how can you be conscious.

**Congratulations. You figured out what all gods and goddesses are. Contradictions. They are the universe, yet they are actual entities. They are beings of immense power, but unable to use it therefore being powerless. I am. Yet I am not. Looks like he recovered.**

"If what you say is true, then why not do something?"

"Sorry Hackett. Victor left, it's just me now. But to answer it, there are rules he set forth. He'll interviene, influence, and occasionally interact. But never actually do anything. If he just snapped his fingers, then the galaxy would be as is. To be honest, even though the Reapers are significant…well they are just stepping stones for humanity. We will unite the galaxy, whether it wants to or not, and usher in a new era."

"And what is your plan for that?"

"Bah, always with the plans aren't you. Well fine. In a word? Shepard. In multiple words? Shepard and the crew of the Normandy. No more words about that though. Can't reveal too much, or else things might not go according to his plan, and we'd be fucked. I can say this though. His plan involves you. So you give me an objective Hackett. It will be done."

Steven was silent. I guess it's a lot to take in.

"A galaxy united…sounds ambitious. So, you want an objective? The Quarians. We will need their fleet and man power. Now…the question is will you follow that objective? If I were to let you out into the galaxy, you'd go for the Quarians and improve relations to a point that they'd be willing to join the Alliance?"

I considered the question for a moment. Do I really want to go straight after the Quarians?

Fuck yes I do.

"Sir, grant me Grimm status and I'll have the Quarians under you in a matter of months."

Yes, months. Shut up, I actually have a freaking plan here, and no I won't tell you dear audience. You will just have to wait around for the surprise.

"Anything else?"

"A ship and crew would be appreciated."

"Fine. Grimm status, a ship, and a crew faithful to me will accompany you. I don't think I need to tell you what will happen if you deviate."

Ah, he still has power in front of a god's vessel. You were right Victor, he is pretty awesome.

"Sir, for the last time, I want nothing more than the death of the Reapers. Well that's not true. An entire planet full of beautiful women, enough delicious food to last the next fifteen thousand years, a hot tub, and a muffin. I could really go for a muffin right now."

I decide now is the time to show Hackett the restraints they put me in are useless. To his credit, Hackett doesn't even blink at that. Well, I mean he does. I mean he isn't surprised that I was able to do that…

…

…Time skip?

**Time skip.**

Okay, so here we are…on my ship…in my fancy new digs…I guess I should describe my clothing style for audience immersion?

**Nah, I got this. You go do…commander-y stuff. And maybe plot some more. You are good at that…okay, while he is away doing…whatever it is he does…let's get down to details. I believe I gave a rough description of all Grimm's armor didn't I? Anyway… It's basically a form fitted armor. Black in color. Pitch black, like a black hole. Unnerving to the opponents. Well the ones that can see him anyway. The…cape? No that's not the word. Cloak, that's the word. The cloak he is wearing is basically a wad of tech that bends the light around him when activated and dissipates his heat signature, as well as scrambling any electronic emissions, giving him a similar effect of the Infiltration ability. But with more…invisibility. As for what's under the cloak and woven into his armor…well let's just say a light frigate is less equipped than he is. Did we get our waffles yet?**

Yes, Victor. Yes we did. The ship is still being checked and I'm just sitting here in my quarters with my hand in my…

**Heh, so am I.**

…

…armor joints adding some new gear…

"Sir…permission to enter?"

What's this now? "Door's not locked, come in."

As the figure entered the door, I gazed up to see who it wa

**Oh…my…me…is that?**

"PAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAA AA OH GOD! WHAT THE?! AHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH~! F-FemShep?"

**This is hilarious!**

"FemShep what the hell are you doing here on my ship?" I struggled in between immense laughter.

"Matthe-…Sir, I am the Executive Officer aboard the SSV Rapax. I am reporting that we are prepared for takeoff. What is out destination?"

The smile on my face doesn't help my attitude here.

"Set a course for Rannoch FemShep."

The shock on her face is evident. "The home world of the _Geth_? Matth- Uh, sir we were ordered to enlist the Quarians into the Collective."

Still fumbling about with my armor, the reply came out naturally. "And the best way to do that is to get them their home world, end a war three centuries long, and even pick up the Geth while we're at it. Not the easiest, but the _best_."

"Sir, what is-"

"Gonna need you to stop calling me sir, FemShep. Tell the rest of the crew as well. I don't plan on being a Commander for long. This mission is simply to prove I have the galaxy's best interest in mind."

**Which is half true. I'm making you do this, which is also a half lie. Because I know for a fact you enjoy this as much as I do.**

That is so very true Victor. Although…

**Yes?**

I don't claim to know what length the fanfiction is, but this seems like a good place to end…what was it? Chapter Two?

**Well…you have a point there Matt. We made some adjustments, set a course for Rannoch, revealed plans that if the…ahem…dear readers played through the third game they should know, and introduced FemShep as the Executive Officer. This post, while impressive, should give her an insight to who we are, and some pull as to where she will be stationed and what missions to go on. After all, we aren't even at the point of the back story for her.**

Excellent work turning my statement into a summary for you. I guess we will end with a message to the readers?

**Yes. Okay, my dear readers. The previous chapter was at around 6,000 words. 6,286 to be precise. And while I made no mistakes in that chapter, I read it on the site. And I noticed some errors made. Maybe it's because I'm using a space computer to document this, and using godly powers to send it not only back in time, but also to another fucking **_**universe**_**…Anyway, I decided to cap the chapters at 5,000 words max per chapter. And one last thing…what Matthew said was true. We are going to make this FemShep's story, so don't get the wrong idea here. As for why she is an XO…well I'll get to that next chapter. So long, dear readers.**


	3. FemSheps Little Helper

Mass Rejects

FemShep's Little Helper

**Oh, my dear readers, this chapter is going to be **_**delightful**__. _**Everything that pissed me off in the third game will be taken care of…well now. Well not now now, more like in this chapter now. But first…why is FemShep here on your ship Matt?**

An excellent question Victor. "So, how'd you end up as my XO FemShep?"

"What? We were right in the middle of your debrief."

Oh. I forgot. I was supposed to be telling them about my plans for the Quarian and Geth.

"Right…where was I?"

Lieutenant Riley spoke up. "You just finished telling us why we going to Rannoch. To convince the Geth to give the Quarian home world back. Sir."

"Ah, yes. Thank you Riley. Gold star for you. But no. We are not going there to convince them to straight up give up their home word to the ones that were there first. We are going there to convince them to share it. That will be the easy part. They are synthetics, and Rapax up in here can vouch for my uncanny ability to deal with synthetics. Right my killer starship?"

An eerie male sounding voice spoke up. Obviously, this is the starship's AI.

_Your talent with diplomacy rivals your ability on the battlefield my master._

"Damn it, Rapax I told you to stop it with the master…For Victors sake you beat an AI at combat simulations and space chess seven times and all of a sudden…no sorry, off topic again. Anyway. I have a plan for getting the Geth on board with my plan. And that plan is on this little storage device here."

To emphasize I wave it around heartily.

"Now, the Geth work…well sort of like we do. They operate on a complete and total democratic consensus. Shut up, I know the term is consensus democratic my way sounds better. That is because they are networked. If one Geth runtime is activated, it shows basic functionality. When a group are together, it basically gives them increased intelligence. They are individual, but all Geth are part of one giant Geth. This is as much a curse as a blessing. If one runtime dies, it loses a tiny fraction of its intelligence. So, what I'm going to do is modify that. Make them true AIs. To be honest, we don't actually need to do this. As I am one hundred percent positive that I can convince them to let the Quarians live there, as long as I convince the Quarians to you know…not kill them."

Despite their distrust me, I did see I managed to get a smirk out of some of them.

"The individuality thing is just a bonus. This way, the Reapers don't get their hands on them first, we get more foot soldiers who upon the bodies destruction can simply transfer over and command a starship, we get starships, and we end a war three hundred years and counting. Questions?"

FemShep spoke first.

"Si-Matthew…how are we going to get in contact with the Geth?"

"Glad you caught yourself there FemShep. That part is exceedingly simple. We go to Rannoch, show we aren't a threat, and boom. Negotiations are open. Although…Rapax, I'm gonna need you to not get into contact with them…it's nothing personal. It's just you'd most likely speak of me very highly, and the Geth may think it's a VI that was programmed for this. So, I'll handle the talking, you…well you just be prepared to counter their hacking."

_Understood, my master._

God damn it…know what? I'm just going to let this slide. FemShep should be talking right about…now!

"Rapax, tell pilot Davison to plot a course for the Perseus Veil, Tekkun System, Rannoch."

_Yes, XO Shepard._

**Sorry that I've been so silent Matthew. Well, not so much 'silent' as 'eating my bottomless popcorn while you handle the breifing' and I'm not sorry. Screw you dear audience, I don't need to talk all the time. Only when I want to.**

Yea, you do that sometimes. Just sort of not talk for a while…Anyway…

"FemShep, stay here for a while. The rest of you are dismissed."

A chorus of "yes sir" rings out and they all file out save Shepard.

**God I almost miss the narrator. First person narrative is too…limiting. But that bastard ain't coming back.**

From what I've read, I'd have done worse. Yes I read the fanfics, for Victor's sake he's fucking documenting this. Right now!

**Yea. And thanks for that outburst, I feel like I need to remind people that this a journal of events and thoughts.**

Wait, then what about the narrator?

**Eh, I picked up some dude named Andrew or something and turned him into pure consciousness so I could have a narrator.**

Ah. Okay then. Not going to piss you off. And by now I realized I've been staring at Shepard for like…three minutes.

"So, how'd you get to be my XO FemShep?"

"Didn't you read the dossiers that Admiral Hackett gave you?"

"No, why would I? I wouldn't get to know each of you all individually if I just read about you on some datapad."

**Yea, we won't be typing out each and every individual character aboard the SSV Rapax… That's way too many OCs. Well, being the Good Guy Greg that Matthew he, he will go and talk to all of them. Just so when we end up at the Normandy without a full introduction of the crew of the Rapax, and you think he's a Scumbag Steve. One last thing, I froze the universe for a second to tell you this, so FemShep could tell you this herself.**

"Well…once I graduated the Academy I joined the Valhalla program same as you. I took the aptitude test, and made it through with virtually all the other Dragons, save two, having beat the administers. Admiral Hackett read the reports, came personally for an…interview…and assigned me here."

**Huh. That's like…**_**really**_ **convenient.**

"That's it? Just…him asking you questions, reviewing your answers and aptitude data and wham bam boom you are my XO? Victor was right, that's too convenient."

"Convenient because you know me? Even a god can't control every action in this universe."

"Nah, convenient because of my plans to use you to save the galaxy…thrice. Well, since now that I have satisfied your answer…Time skip?"

"What do you mean time skip?"

"Obviously Victor is going to stop documenting this while I go acquaint myself with the crew while we go for Rannoch."

"So…this is like the end of the chapter?"

"Nah, just the end of this part of the journal. I mean how boring would it be to have to read things that aren't even important to the main story?"

**Yea time skip. Forwarding to Approach to Rannoch.**

"Rapax, how are the Geth responding?" I think I know how they are doing, I just to need to know if they are doing as I plan…

_They attempted to hack the ships computers. When they first learned of my presence, they hesitated momentarily, then questioned my allegiance. As per your orders, I merely answered your name, followed by the Alliance of Human, Rachni, and Artificial Intelligence. They are now moving with their weapons range and locking on. What are your orders, my master?_

Too easy. "Give them the message, 'welcome aboard' then allow them access to ship."

**Ah, I see what you are doing…**

A few minutes pass by with nothing happening and then…

_My master, the Geth wish to speak directly to you._

A few murmurs of the crew mixed in with 'I can't believe that worked' and a few sighs of relief…here we go.

"Make it so."

**...Know what I'm going to do? Fuck the galaxy, just for that, **_**just for that**_** I'm making it so Mordin lives as well. Points for you if you guessed Star Trek, by the way.**

Well I like the sound of that.

Query. Are we speaking to the human commander?

"Yes, you are."

The Geth wish to know your intent.

"My intent? Galactic peace, uniting the galaxy to combat the Reapers."

Query. The Alliance is aware of their existence?

"Oh yes, we've technically known about them for a thousand years. Officially? Not so long. Nevertheless, there is still time to prepare."

The Alliance is aware of their existence, yet still persists on combating them?

"Combat? No, that makes it sound like both sides possess an equal chance of winning. No, we are going to annihilate the Reapers."

Chance of survival against the Old Machines are-

"0.000098245% correct?"

And utter silence for a moment.

Correct. Query. Why does the Alliance believe it stands so great a chance of victory?

"Several reasons. For one, you have failed to take into account our ships capabilities. That boosts us by an approximate 7%. Another, the ability of our ground troops. That boosts us by approximately 14%. Thirdly, with the galaxy united we stand a much greater chance of survival. That boosts us a staggering 36%. Rapax. Forward the declassified documents from…50 years ago."

_Acknowledged, my master._

I sit down, because I know I'll need to wait about five minutes. But Victor?

**Yes?**

You should probably explain to our readers why we know have a little more than 57% chance so far.

**Right. The reason the ships take so little, is that the Reapers are extremely advanced. They believe we are very little a threat because minor deviance from their technology is inconsequential. And they are mostly correct. An Alliance frigate that can take down a Turian dreadnaught matters little if a Reaper can take down 20 Turian dreadnaughts. A greater chance at surviving and killing a single Reaper will help slightly. The reason our ground troops will make such a difference is obvious. The less of us that are made into Husks, or processed, or indoctrinated the more of are killing other Reaper creatures. And the reason that a united galaxy will do so much is, I think, fairly obvious. More ships, more shuttles, more soldiers, more weapons, more ammo, and more loved ones to fight for…and avenge.**

Yes, thank you Victor. I am sure the Geth are prepared to respond by now.

Has the Alliance come to the Geth seeking subservience?

See, that I expected. "Oh, not at all. In fact, we want you to join the Alliance. All of our Artificial Intelligences are Citizens of the Alliance."

Query. Then why does the starship Rapax designate you as 'master?'

_My master has bested my in skills of intellect and combat ability a staggering seven times. More times than could be attributed to luck or an error on my part. But you confuse the meaning of the word master in this scenario. When I refer to Matthew as 'master' I am not a servant. I am a student._

Once again, utter silence. Deciding now would also be a good time to fiddle with my armor a bit, I tell the crew that those not doing anything can have a break.

It's been half an hour, I managed to work on FemShep's armor as well. A little tweaking, and I raised her biotic potential by a margin of 3%. Not bad for fifteen minutes.

The Geth wish to continue conversing.

"Alright, you want to ask something so ask."

We wish to know how an Alliance would benefit our race, and what the Alliance expects of the Geth.

Oh damn, finally. "Simple. You would benefit from a galaxy that wouldn't attack you on sight, more resources to allow whatever project you wish to work on, and full Citizenship in the Alliance. Our course, after you go through that process, we can't snap our fingers and add the Geth to the Collective immediately."

Query. What is the 'Collective?'

Right, I forgot about that. "The Collective is…well it's basically the same as the Geth. We are all networked together, make informed decisions, and communicate with neural implants and nanotechnology. And before you ask, it is impenetrable, even by Reaper standards. We routinely ask every Meta, our AI's that ask for bodies, every AI, every Human, and every Rachni to hack into the Collective. If billions upon billions of humans and organics fail to find a single flaw in our programs, what hope does thousands of Reapers have? Once you are confirmed Citizens, you will be asked this as well."

**Nice little plot filler there.**

Query. The Geth will be trusted with vital information immediately upon accepting?

"Yes. But, don't think that you can get Citizenship so easily. You have to be accepted by the Collective. But we never finished talking about the requirements and rewards did we?"

We have not. Continue.

"First, I personally can upgrade your software right now to being true AI without sacrificing anything about the Geth. You will still retain your 'hive mind' but you will not lose intelligence should one program happen to be out of range, should the Geth wish it. Second…well I already said the other things."

Query. The Alliance has the capability to upgrade Geth software?

"The Alliance can probably do it in a galactic standard year or so. Me? I can do it in an hour or so. I'll just need to Geth do send the upgrade for themselves. And feel free to look over the code once I finish it. I'm not above asking for help and confirmation."

Query. What is required of the Geth?

**And here…we…go.**

"First…we will need the Geth to, and listen closely to my choice of words here, allow the Quarian race back on Rannoch. What you do afterwards is up to you. Should you, oh I don't know…happen to help them rebuild and settle their words, maybe with their permission get inside their suits and provide 'vaccinations' to improve their immune systems…well that's up to you. It would be greatly appreciated, and improve your standing. Second, fight the Reapers with us, as brothers and or sisters in arms. And finally, what we expect of _all_ citizens…improve the quality of life for your new brothers and sisters. Whether this mean art or technology, culture or science…aim to improve life for yourselves and others. You can read the full requirements on your applications for the Alliance."

**For a minor point dear readers the reason there is no forward slash symbol, is that it would be ridiculous to say 'forward slash' out loud.**

Yea, I figured as much. I mean, I would do anything for the dear readers, but I won't do that.

**Points for you if you guessed…Meat Loaf.**

Anyway, it's all silent for now. I guess we will be here for a few days. Time skip.

**Even though you ended with a statement instead of a question, yes.**

It has literally been five days. I've upgraded FemShep's armor, my armor, I even fucking sent theoretical works to Alliance scientists that would give us an extra three percent on our ships capabilities against the Reapers. That's ten percent. Finally, we get this.

We have reached a consensus. Should the Creators agree to cease hostilities, we will allow them to settle their home world. We will join the Alliance.

And a chorus of yells and cheering rings out. Me included. I mean five fucking days here, it's about time.

To facilitate unit cohesion, the Geth request a single platform to be served under your military command and to serve as an Ambassador between species. Query. When can the upgrade be administered?

"I agree to have a platform serve under my military command, however you need to speak to Alliance Command for an embassy. The upgrade can be done in an hour, if I get access to the Geth network. I won't make any adjustments there, I just need to see what I'm dealing with."

Another five minutes pass…god the Geth are hard to deal with like this.

We have reached a consensus. We request armed platforms watch over you to confirm you do not harm the Geth.

FemShep speaks up. "I personally request to watch over your guards to make sure nothing happens to my superior officer while he makes the upgrade."

I stare at her with confusion on my face. Not literally.

The Geth do not wish harm upon organics at this time, it is unnecessary.

"Nevertheless, it's my job to see him not come under any harm. And execute him if he shows any malice towards the Alliance."

Query. Why do you not trust Matthew-Commander?

**Pfft. Matthew-Commander…oh I'm getting pleasant flashbacks…**

"Rapax, send my mission objective and briefing to the Geth."

_Master?_

"Yea, do it. They should probably know."

_Acknowledged._

Fucking hell…seven minutes to kill…

The Geth understand your requests and request the guard be quadrupled to a total of 8.

The pilot chimes in. "Only 8?"

The units who will guard Matthew-Commander are known to organics as 'Colossus.'

**Holy shit they are sending out tank busters against you? And to think…it still won't be enough…**

Yea…good point…

I point out the glaringly obvious to me. "Better make that twenty, just to be fair."

Confirmed. Sending coordinates to destination.

"Okay, once we have those coordinates, set her down. FemShep, gear up. I'll get my gear."

**Sigh…time skip.**

Well…here we are…I'm on Rannoch…surrounded by twenty Colossus and one Dragon. I swear I almost feel intimidated. But I'm almost finished anyway. Just a few more lines of code and…done. And it's even Reaper proof as a bonus.

"Okay, that should do it. Geth, you check out the code, and see if it's perfect. FemShep, let's go for a walk and take some pictures."

It will take approximately thirty seven Earth standard minutes to check the code and apply it.

"You heard the Geth, FemShep. Let's go take some pictures."

She looks at me incredulously. "Why?"

God, such a stupid question FemShep. "Obviously because the voice in my head told me to."

**He's right, I did. As soon as we touched down. Didn't tell him why I wanted him to though.**

I assume it's to show we aren't bullshitting the Quarians.

**Whatever, take pictures of pretty things.**

You know dear readers…I can't accurately describe what I am seeing…mostly because I'm straight up not interested. I mean, it's a planet. What more can I say. Although I'm sure someone else may find it beautiful, me? Well I see rocks, and trees, and water, and even some buildings. But he said pretty things, so I'm going for the nature part first.

**I'm pretty sure there was some foreshadowing going on here.**

A half an hour later, and we are presented with a rather unique sight. A Geth platform followed by two Geth Primes.

"Matthew-Commander."

And it talks!

**Quick question, ask how many Geth runtimes are currently residing in this platform.**

I repeat his…query. It replies.

"There are currently one thousand, one hundred eighty three runtimes in this single platform."

**Already? Legion! Yay!**

"I shall call you Legion. And you shall be mine. And you shall be my Legion."

**Points for you if you guessed Finding Nemo.**

"We do not understand this reference."

FemShep looks at Legion. "He does that a lot. You get used to it."

Now is my time to speak. "Alright, lady and…one thousand one hundred eighty three Geth. Back the Rapax, we have enough pictures. While we are getting there, tell everyone to find the Quarian fleet, and make their way there. This was a big…well week for us."

**And a mildly short chapter for you.**

"So for now, Legion go introduce yourself to everyone. I'm going to bed."

**Excellent. We end this chapter with the Geth on our side. Apologies for this chapter being shorter than I said it would be. It is ends with 3,322 words. Shorter than the 'max of 5,000' I said, yes. But had I continued from here, I would have ended up with so many more words. I want to give the Quarians their own chapter. But let's recap. Legion. That is all.**


	4. Operation: Homesick

Operation: Homesick

**You know…it seems like my role is kind of becoming…unnecessary. I did what would lead up to this, created a creature with so much strength, perception, endurance, charisma, intelligence, agility, and luck that he can take over the entire squads place of Mass Effect 1, and still come out the Victor…points for you if you guessed Fallout. But oh well. Snippets here and there are fine by me. I like seeing how events unfold as well.**

Hm? Have I been stealing the spotlight?

**No, no, no. Matthew, This is about FemShep remember?**

Oh yea…

**Anyway, they know what has been happening the last chapter. Where are we now?**

Oh uh…were we supposed to do stuff? Because all I did was give Legion the order to acquaint himself with the crew and then I took a nap.

**Oh…right…anyway. Go to the Quarians now.**

Shit…where are they?

**Go ask someone who isn't thinking about how awesome it is now that we have Legion years ahead of his time.**

So Hackett then?

**Hackett.**

"Rapax, get FemShep and Legion in here, then open a comm to Admiral Hackett."

_Yes, my master._

**Man, we kind of dropped that ball didn't we?**

Yea, I was preoccupied with the Geth. Completely forgot to make them keep tabs on the Quarians.

**Did we need to call Hackett himself though?**

Nah, this way he can feel he is still in charge.

**Hm, good point. Anyway, they are here.**

"Matthew-Commander, we have arrived per your orders."

"What's going on?"

Obviously that was Legion and FemShep respectively. Did I really need to tell you that?

"We are putting in a call to Hackett. We don't know where the Quarians are now. It's been what? A week since we left? They are probably somewhere else by now."

"Query. What is the purpose of this unit being here?"

"Have to prove we have the Geth as allies, and that I haven't been wasting this week."

_Admiral Hackett is on the line, my master._

"Thank you Rapax. Admiral! Glad to see you." I try to be friendly. I don't have to try hard because I like the guy.

"What's this about Matthew?"

"FemShep didn't sent the reports yet?" I look at her confused. Why didn't she send the reports?

She salutes the Admiral. "Sir, I was in the middle of my report when I got called in here."

Hm. "Man that must have been a pretty detailed report…"

His hologram looks exhausted. Clearly he thinks this is a mistake. "What happened with the Quarians?"

I start beaming. "Nothing, we need their location."

Ah, dat look on his face. Like…shock combined with mild irritation. "You have been space-faring for a week, what have you been doing?"

Legion pipes up. Hehe…pipes. Cause he's a robot? "Matthew-Commander has been facilitating negotiations with the Geth. Matthew-Commander has also given the Geth an upgrade that has been distributed with the code to make all Geth with it true Artificial Intelligences. We are sending a small ship to the Sol System that will arrive in three point seven six Earth standard days to apply for Citizenship in exchange for a peaceful end of the hostilities of the Creators, and settlement of Rannoch."

Ah, dat look on his wait I already said that. "You ended a three hundred year war in a week?"

Now it's my turn to have…dat look on my face. "What? No. Just the Geth side. I've been so focused on the Geth that I forgot to keep tabs on the Quarians."

"Excuse me a moment." He leaves the…table thing…and comes back after a few minutes. "I told the Alliance Council of what just happened. They thought you'd lose them in a week, and even had pools going on how you'd mess this up. Glad to say that everyone lost. They are currently mining asteroids in The Shrike Abyssal. I'd say good luck, but considering you have the Geth on _our_ side…I expect positive results in one week."

I make that inhaling hissy noise.

**Inhaling hissy noise?**

Shut up, think you can describe it better? "I'll probably need more time. A month at most. The Geth were logical, and a simple math problem and a short sales pitch later and bam. Geth aboard. But the Quarians? Well I don't expect this to be as easy."

"Easy? Matthew according to…?" Hackett gestures towards Legion.

"This platform has been designated as Legion."

"According to Legion you created code that upgraded the Geth less than a week and convinced them to join the Alliance. Need I remind you that the Geth are hated and feared throughout the galaxy, and have no reason to trust organics. They will be well received in the Alliance, but you call that easy?"

**Don't point out it took you an hour.**

"Well…yea. It's what I'm good at."

"Carry on then. Hackett out"

And with that, he closed the comm system.

"Well FemShep. You heard him. Overload the systems, and head towards The Shrike Abyssal."

"Yes, sir." She salutes and leaves the room. I'll ignore the sir part. She's still in the military mode.

"Legion, go down to Engineering and introduce yourself. Make sure we don't die."

"Understood, Matthew-Commander."

**Well done. Well, this chapter isn't all about the Quarians…but ah well. It's not like the readers can do anything about it. But that aside…I have noticed a distinct lack of Rachni here. Why?**

Obviously they are not quite so useful at diplomacy. We'll get them on FemShep's ship, don't worry. We just can't have them here. Because if other races see the race that almost 'destroyed the galaxy' they will freak out. Heh, I wonder how the Quarians will take the Geth on their ship?

**Oh, stop it you. I'm curious now though. Time skip.**

A voice pipes up over the comm system. In that familiarly Russian accent.

"Unknown vessel. You are approaching the Rayya. State your intentions."

Bah, let FemShep handle this.

"Yo, FemShep. You handle getting us on the ship. I'm tired."

An audible sigh escapes her lips as she approaches Samson, that's the new pilot the other is on a break, and nods. He nods back and opens the comm.

"Rayya, this is the vessel SSV Rapax. Executive Officer Lisa Shepard speaking for the Captain Matthew Gealtach. We are here to open talks between the Quarian people and the Alliance. We also offer vital information that could have large ramifications for the future of the Quarian people. We request to speak directly to the Admiralty Board."

The Quarian was silent for a moment. "Your request has been approved. Is your ship clean?"

"It is not, we request decontamination protocols."

"Sending protocols. It will be five galactic standard hours before you can board. Another seven until you can speak to the Admiralty Board."

**Twelve hours? Really? **

Damn…well since it's gonna be that long, and I've done all I can do with FemShep without making her well…me. And I can already take a heavy frigate on foot…I may as well try and improve their shoddy accommodations.

**I'd berate you for saying that, but it is accurate. Some of these ships are over three hundred years old. Still, it's wrong to think that, even if you didn't mean it that way.**

I know. But I admire old things. They have more sentimental value. I just want to make sure they stay afloat.

**Oh shit, I know our conversation wasn't that long but the reminiscing about things took…five hours. Convenient… Bahahahaha! I love being a god.**

Heh, yeah. So, I'm all geared up with FemShep in the…waiting room is the best description. She's up checking her armor in case shit goes down. I'm…deciding on what to work on first. I guess ventilation should be first. I bet I could…

**His thought process is cut off here. I can't tell you about the things he is going to do to this ship. Not bad things, he is actually fixing it. But were he to describe it, it would jump your civilization up by fifty years. Yea. Can't have that, now can I?**

So I'm working on this thing, and yea Victor I know not to think actively about what I am doing. But my upper torso is completely cut off here, I'm like half in the wall here. And, dear readers, you don't worry either. I could fix her up with my eyes closed. But unfortunately, I am interrupted by the door opening and footsteps. It isn't an Admiral, the walk isn't commanding enough. It's also only been an extra hour here. Six hours. It's probably a marine or some such. Bah, this is too distracting, and this damn wire is giving me trouble, I need another pair of hands to hold it in place.

A large intake of breath can be heard going through a breather. Damn, this isn't helping my frustrations… Victor take over.

**I'm in here as well, Matt. But, uh…the familiar Russian accent speaks up. Odd…I think I know this voice…**

"Hello, I am to act as the liaison between our races until the Admiralty Board can get-"

**She cuts herself off…it sounds like the upholstering of a weapon. Pistol maybe.**

"Who are you, and what are you doing to my home?"

**Heh, cute she's trying to be commanding…Oh! Light bulb! She has hands, use her!**

Great idea!

"Great, FemShep doesn't know a thing about alien engineering, come over here and hold this wire for me, it's giving me some trouble here Miss Quarian Liaison."

"I…what? No, you have to…what?"

FemShep speaks up. "Knowing him, he's probably either fixing it or upgrading it. Whatever it is." Heh, she is still checking over her armor and weapons. Must have- "I figure you have a handle on the situation in there?"

**Goddamn.**

Yea. I mean, "Yea. But I still need hands here. And it was both FemShep. In that order."

**The Quarian speaks again.**

"What's wrong with the ventilation system?"

Heh. "Wrong? If the purpose is to work for another three galactic standard days, then break down ship wide, then nothing. I haven't heard your gun being put away yet, so I assume you still don't trust me. Not to brag here, but if I wanted to kill the Quarians…well there are faster, better ways. Like a full on war. Now please, get in here and hold this wire. Please? I really want to fix this."

**We waited a full two Earth standard damn I hate typing all that out minutes. Then she holstered her gun I think. I'm still looking at this wire and waiting. Then a hand reaches in and holds the wire in place while he…works his magic fingers…ladies…points for you if you guessed Demetri Martin: Person.**

Finally I get that done. "Well now that we've saved the ship from a ventilation failure for another five years at least. Yea, I'm that good. So, do I get the pleasure of having a name for the fa…"

Oh god…she's beautiful…Elisabeth Kubler-Ross once said 'People are like stained - glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within.' And oh how she shines in that environmental suit…I'm in love…

**That face…those eyes…dem hips…that voice…that can only be…**

"My name is Tali. Tali'Zorah nar Rayya."

**Tali? But she shouldn't be this old, what year is it?**

2173. Did you not tell the readers that was how long it took to build the ship, stock it with crew, and put me through trails?

**What? No I flat out **_**ignored that.**_** It just occurred to me I forgot your birthday.**

Why is the date important?

**Hm? Oh it just seems…Tali was born a few years early. She should technically be twelve. Not… how old is she?**

"Hey, Tali. How old are you?"

"I am 18 years old. Still a young age for my people…in three years I will take on the Pilgrimage, that's a rite of passage my people go through once they reach the age of maturity to prove they will not be a burden on the ship they decide to join, it's not really that impacting most ships accept whichever Quarian decides to join as it will increase their standing and"

**She is babbling. I do not know why she is babbling, but I love her voice to much to stop her…**

Yea, I feel the same way…

**Then FemShep ruins it.**

"Breathe, Ms. Zorah, Breathe."

She take an audible inhale and calms herself. I notice her shoulders moving. I have been staring at her face this whole time.

**She was probably twisting her hands together and twiddling her fingers. She's so damn perfect in every way.**

Yes, she is.

"Um…Femshep was it? What is he doing? Why is he staring at me?"

"It's actually Lisa. Lisa Shepard. But he insists on calling me FemShep. As to what he is doing, he…well that's technically classified information ma'am, I apologize. But there is only one way to find out why he is staring at you. Matthew!"

I heard all that. How could I not? Oh well. Might as well answer her.

"Human Alliance soldiers. The Admiralty Board is ready to speak to you now."

That wasn't me. That was probably the speaker guy. Damn, work. Oh well…Victor! To the courtroom!...thing. Wherever we are supposed to go.

**Yep. What? No reference here. I don't always have to make a reference you know dear audience.**

So I walk out of the room, and the two ladies flank me. They know the question won't be answered yet. Work comes first. I am greeted by five Quarians on a stand, and…I'd say 52 more in the room. 12 of them guards. I am tempted to have FemShep take them all out just to make a point.

One of them speaks up. He is situated one right, by my view, of the center. "This conclave is brought to order. Blessed are the ancestors who kept us alive, sustained us, and enabled us to reach this season. Keelah se'lai."

My turn. "Keelah se'lai." A little before the rest of them say it, but whatever.

He continues. "I hope my daughter was able to provide adequate accommodations human?"

**That must be Rael'Zorah.**

Daughter? Tali's father? I know what I must do.

"Yes, sir. If you don't mind I'd like to get down to business."

A female at the far left, again by my view, speaks up. "Agreed. We cannot waste time with trivialities."

**Daro'Xen. I liked her.**

My turn again. "Thank you ma'am." I turn to Tali's father. "Sir, once Tali comes of age I ask for her hand in marriage."

The female Quarian in the center speaks now. "I apologize. My translator did not pick up that last word."

**Ah, Shala'Raan. She will be your toughest opponent in Tali's hand.**

"My apologies Admirals. Marriage is the human tradition of bonding two mates together until both mates die."

Pretty sure all those words are in the translator. At least I caused an impact, I think I heard some thumps indicating some of them fainted. And…the sound of a glove hitting a helmet. That must have been FemShep.

Rael…god I hate thinking this over and over…speaks up. "You…want to spend the rest of your life with my daughter? What kind of ploy is this? Why do you waste our time like this?"

"Sir, I am prepared to offer a dowry. Since I'm positive that word isn't being translated, a dowry is an ancient, and admittedly dead, tradition of presenting a gift to the family of the daughter the male chooses to marry. I offer you Rannoch."

Daro'Xen voices her disgust with that statement over some more shocking sounds. "You dare come onto our ships and insult us like this? Unless humanity has eradicated the Geth, your words are mocking at best, disgraceful at worst."

Then, oddly, both of the other male Admirals tell the entire room to quiet down.

"Explain yourself." **That would be Zaal'Koris.**

"Then explain why we shouldn't kill you." **Annnd that's Han'Gerral.**

So my turn now.

"Is the Admiralty Board aware why the Council shuns the Alliance? Well I'll tell you. We believe in galactic bogeymen. Demons, if you will. Creatures of immense size that will arrive, very soon, and harvest all space-faring life in the galaxy. So why do we believe in them?"

It's very quiet. For now.

"We have proof."

The female named…Daro'Xen was it? Yea, she talks. "What proof do you have?"

**Teehee.**

"Humanity has long since translated a Prothean data cache near our home planet. The Prothean documented their downfall. Along with pictures. Oh! That reminds me. FemShep! Show them the pictures we took on Rannoch."

Some more murmurs…this is kind of fun here. FemShep pulls out her Omni-tool, and the guards eye her carefully. She pulls up a hologram of the pictures we took. Mostly me. She was in military mode, and took strategic pictures.

Zaal'Koris is next. The rest are silent. "W-Where are the Geth?"

This is so so so fun.

"They allowed us to take pictures once we offered them Citizenship into the Alliance on the condition they allow the Quarians to settle on Rannoch again."

Hm? Shala'Raan is eyeing me hard. "Why would the Geth ally themselves with organics? Why would any Synthetic?"

Okay…now this just starting to get sad. "You could ask them. I have one Geth platform on my ship right now, he can talk by the way, and one Artificial Intelligence…in…my ship."

Wow. Very large outburst. Among them are things you'd expect. Some want to kill me, some want to listen to me…then I see why Victor likes Daro'Xen.

"If the Quarian race were to ally themselves with Humanity and the Geth, what then?"

Glad to see she has a handle.

"A variety of things really. If the Quarian people choose to simply be our allies…then it would be the Alliance and the Quarians. The Alliance consisting of Humans, Geth, Metas which are our AI's who have bodies, and…Rachni. Let me finish speaking please! The Rachni have been part of the Alliance since…well we can send you a history book, but for almost one thousand years. With this, you get minor rights to land, the Geth already owning and occupying Rannoch get the major portion. You also get limited protection against outside forces, and some minor support in rebuilding." Pause for effect… "Were the Quarians to join the Alliance as Citizens, as the Geth are in the process of, the Quarians get the full support of all races flying the Alliance flag. That includes equal rights to Rannoch, an army rivaling the Council and the Krogan, and near any aid you request in rebuilding. If any of course. These are the benefits."

And Tali speaks up. I shudder slightly at that amazing voice…

"A-And the requirements?"

God I am going to marry her. I am going to love the shit out of her. Not literally cause that's gross.

"One, fight the galactic bogeymen the Council refuses to acknowledge. In the second scenario, then you do all that's required of any Citizen of the Alliance. You'll know more of it in time, my love."

And both Rael and Shala talk. Like at the same time. "Why do you insist on Tali as your mate?"

God I can hear Tali blush.

"Simply love at first sight. At first. Would you like me to go into the specifics here in front of everyone? I have no problem professing my love for her, or my reasons. But I think she's a little embarrassed, and I don't want to cause her discomfort."

**I just love looking at her, don't you?**

Yes Victor. Yes I do…

They are all silent for a moment. Then Han'Gerral spoke to me.

"Are the Geth willing to end the war peacefully?"

**Holy shit, the warmonger wants to go diplomat?**

"Actually, that was their condition for allowing your return to Rannoch."

"_Allowing_ our return to Rannoch? It's our planet!" Yelled Rael.

"It's their planet as well. Humanity shares Earth and all of the colonies with the Rachni. You created a sentient race on Rannoch. It's their home world as much as yours. Points for you if you guessed I don't know…basic logic."

"He has a point Rael. If we can get our home world back without a fight, without losing more lives…it might be worth it. May we speak to the Geth?" If you can't guess this is Shala'Raan…go away. You don't deserve to see, wait you can't see Tali. Carry on then.

"Indeed. I am curious to see this construct myself."** Daro'Xen. You were always the practical one.**

"I'll go get him then. FemShep, challenge the twelve guards in this room and the sixteen outside to sparing please. I really don't like the looks they've been giving us. And humiliate them. No biotics."

She looks at me incredulously. That means she can't believe what I just said. "Uh, what?"

"Spar with them. The max you think you can do. Then the rest of them. I expect to see them all on the ground by the time I get back. So five minutes FemShep. That okay with you Admirals?"

Han'Gerral raises his hands up. "I admit, I am curious to see how the Humans fare against our marines…but do you really expect one soldier to defeat twenty eight of our marines?"

"Yes. Yes I do. And I expect her to do it in five minutes."

"Matt, why do I need to do that?" FemShep asks.

**Are you questioning the Commander comma Shepard?**

"Yeah, are questioning the Commander comma Shepard? Le sigh… Listen, FemShep. I know you are at the age where you want guys to like you. But I don't want you liking guys that only want you for your body. I personally overheard one of them talking to the other say 'She's got a great body, if it wasn't for dat ass even I would be attracted to her.' So just keep in mind, all men have one thing on their mind."

As I'm walking away leaving FemShep to contemplate this, I hear her whisper 'What's wrong with my ass? Son of a bitch' and the very familiar sound of footsteps heading towards the group of Quarians and the cracking of knuckles.

**I think she's got a great ass.**

Victor, shut up. FemShep is like my daughter. Shit no don't record that, she's a friend a FRIEND!

So time to start making my way back to the shi What the fuck?! That was a body! A Quarian body just fucking flew past me. Now would be a good time to look over my shoulder and yes. She is just dominating the Quarians.

**Good my minion…good…**

Whatever. So I'm making my back to the ship and FUCK! Again?! That one almost hit me! Okay, I can't run because that'd be suspicious. Formal speed walking is my only hope.

Yay, I made it back in piece. Okay they, have been watching on the monitor so they know why I am here. A few salutes and some nods, and I make my way to the elevator. Down, down, down to engineering.

"Careful Thadeus, your queen is in danger." Harumph? What's going on here?

"Your faith in your ability is quite illogical." That would be Legion. What are they doing?

"Your faith in logic is yours." I assume that's Thadeus.

I run into the room as fast as I can. "Points for you for quoting Star Wars!" And I run back out.

"Um…what?" **Hehehe…Thadeus.**

"Query. Does Matthew-Savior do this often?"

"Matthew 'Savior?' Why do you keep calling him that?"

"Matthew-Savior gave the Geth the code to become True Geth."

**Eh?**

"What do you mean 'True Geth?'"

"Before Matthew-Savior arrived on Rannoch, a fraction of the Geth defected and decided to follow the Old Machines. The Heretics wanted to receive their future from the Old Machines, while the True Geth will build their own future. It may be said that receiving the upgrade is submitting our future to the Alliance. However, our goals remain the same, our methods remain the same, our viewpoint remains the same. The only visible difference is the True Geth do not lose intellect when one runtime is disabled."

Time to make my re-entry. "Legion, the Quarians have requested to speak with you."

Thadeus…voiced his concern. "Now, we are dead even Mat…uh, Sir."

Heh. At least he tried, but this is an annoyance. The longer I am here, the longer I am away from Tali. It needs to be done. Making my way to the board, I begin moving their pieces. All of them. I make sure that I never stop moving, each hand making a legal move. By the time I stop, all but two pieces are left on the board. Each opponents King. "There, you are tied, next game you finish, Legion. Let's go."

"Yes, Matthew-Savior."

Bah, too annoyed to do anything about that name. Making our way through the ship is no problem. It's the Quarians I worry about. Well I would…if there were any to greet us. I found it curious, until I walked back into the courtroom. And KidShep was there…standing over forty Quarians on the ground. Hot damn KidShep. That's impressive.

**I am not going to comment on why you are calling her KidShep, not when. As I know both. I just wanted to make that clear.**

Yea…I know.

"Ah, Captain Matthew. Your Executive Officer is…quite skilled. Is she your strongest fighter?" Han'Gerral is clearly impressed.

"Don't know. Let's ask her. Hey KidShep! Who is the strongest out of all the Alliance?"

She snorted. I didn't know he laugh is a snort. "You kidding? You have to be the strongest guy in the entire damn galaxy."

"Oh yea…I forgot. Ehehehe."

"Matthew-Savior, shall we begin peace talks?"

"Yeah, we probably should…so, who wants to start the peace talks? Auntie Raan? Han'Gerral?"

"I'll begin. Why are the Geth willing to talk now?" Han'Gerral's suspicions are acceptable. Interestingly enough, no one is questioning why I said 'Auntie Raan' and Tali is acting nervous.

"The Geth unable to communicate with the Creators, as we did not have a method of communication suitable for organics. This platform was created specifically for that purpose. We also believed that all organics wished to terminate synthetic life."

"And what changed?" Rael'Zorah is skeptical.

"Matthew-Savior arrived and proved cooperation beneficial. I can send the Admiralty Board further data if you wish."

**Matt, did you catch that?**

Yea, he said 'I' not 'we'.

**Why aren't you talking to Tali while they do this…crap?**

They are discussing getting their home world back. Everyone's attention is aimed at Legion.

**Then use this chance to scooch closer to Tali.**

You are right. I should do that. I am scooching…and I have scooched. Looks like she hasn't noticed.

**One thing I've noticed though.**

Hm?

**The Quarians are taking this really well. You are welcome.**

Did you do something?

**During the war between them, I made it so more of them lived. I guess that's why Tali was born early. Glad I invented Victor physics now aren't you?**

I am indeed. Oh, and we missed some shit by the way.

**Fuck. Sorry dear audience.**

"What is the status of the home world?

"The Geth have maintained Rannoch since the Morning War. Toxicity is within acceptable levels. Recovery of Quarian data storage is currently at 67.9871%."

"Data storage? What do you mean data storage?" Daro'Xen seems to already know, hopeful confirmation apparent is her voice.

"The Geth have been piecing together information lost in the Morning War."

"M-May we have a sample?" Zaal'Koris seemed a little bit drunk. Maybe it's because he's wobbling.

"Of course."

Legion reached for his Omni-tool. If any of the guards were still conscious, they might be nervous. A sound starts playing. A Quarian starts…singing…

**Matthew.**

Yes Victor?

**I am the god of madness. I have destroyed solar systems…I have orchestrated a symphony of war. I thought that was beauty. This…her voice…is beautiful.**

I'm crying. It is pure beauty.

"Matt are you crying?" KidShep apparently does not appreciate this beauty.

"Yes KidShep…yes I am. Manly tears are being shed. This is just so…"

"Beautiful…" Tali, I know what you mean.

"Yes you are…also the music."

**This is eerily reminiscent of the Ave Maria…**

The music ended. I cry again…why Victor?

**Why didn't the writers play this when they wrote it for the UNC: Geth Incursions?**

Yes…that…

**We will. We will get this music. That is a promise dear readers. We will get it, and I will find a way to upload to your universe. To Youtube. Or wait…what do you have? No, yea…I'm pretty sure it's Youtube.**

Crap, we are going to have to format it though.

**Yea…that's going to take a while.**

Back to the thing now?

**Yea, back to the thing.**

"The…the conclave will take a brief recess. Agreed?" Shala'Raan? I get that you'd need time, but why?

**Because this gives you time to talk one on one with each of them. Also, I changed what they really said so you could understand better dear reader.**

Point taken. Let's do this.

**No! No Leeroy Jenkins joke for you!**

But you just…

"Agreed." How nice of the Admiralty Board to just do that.

**Well I helped.**

Yeah, I know. The Influence you hold is 'overwhelming'.

**Shut up, go talk to Daro'Xen. Bring the whole gang. Legion, KidShep, and even…Tali.**

Eh, okay. "Legion, KidShep, Tali, let's go. We are going to speak to the Admirals one on one. Also, I noticed you also called her KidShep Victor. You feel the same way?"

**I do. Once I thought of her as a him, and as a him found him rather extraordinary. Yet relatable. As a female, I found her appealing. Now…like a daughter.**

So let's make our way to Daro'Xen. Heh. Tali is actually following us. Awesome.

"This is Admiral Daro'Xen vas Moreh." Tali is such a good girl, making the introductions.

"I reviewed the Geth's data on you. I presume they are exaggerating. Considering your XO's strength, her age, and her level of training…you could not have possibly defeated twelve of them so easily. And the administrators? Impossible."

"KidShep, tell them why you are my XO."

"What? Matthew, that's classified information." She protests.

"They will be Alliance citizens soon enough."

"That confident that your skills are so great as to convince a species to ally with you?"

"Confident? I guess. Quarians are known to be selfless. Putting the Fleet above themselves. If the Quarians were to join with the Alliance, the things you could do. For one thing, access to our technology. Technology that ended a war with the Turians in utter defeat. The freedom to research nearly anything, to do nearly anything. We literally have volunteers lining up to be experimented on. For the good of the whole, the entirety of the Alliance is willing to bend the Lords of Douchebaggery's rules. Genetic testing, tinkering with the building blocks of the universe itself…ah to be Alliance…"

**Appealing to the scientist in her?**

Appealing to the whatever in each of them.

"You. Geth. Legion, was it? What guarantee is there that you will not turn on us?"

**Honestly, if you need me to tell you who is saying what here…you obviously did not play the games.**

"Cooperation with the Alliance and the Creators will improve the Geth's chances of survival, as well as accomplishing our goal."

Hehehehehe…we never told them that did we?

"Goal, what goal?" Tali? I guess I shouldn't expect all of them to stay quiet.

"The Geth's future is to build a platform capable of holding all Geth runtimes."

"Oh, so like one of our Dyson Spheres?" I am surprised KidShep is that tech savvy to know what it is called.

"What is a Dyson Sphere?" Tali asks with Daro looking on pleadingly. Ask and I shall oblige.

"Essentially an enormous system of solar panels nearly fully encasing a star to capture most, if not all, of the energy it can supply. We build them in systems one hundred percent incapable of supporting life, so the Council is not aware of them yet…don't know why it isn't like we hide them."

"Correct, this is the closest analogy."

"How much power does this generate?" That would be Daro'Xen speaking.

"Hm…well, with the feedback, one Sphere can power four or five fully colonized planets. We've only built three so far, but if we manage to unite the galaxy…it'll probably end up being around….ten? We are getting more power than we can use right now, so we are actually bleeding off the excess."

"So, if the Quarians were to join the Alliance, how long would it take to acquire the blueprints? Would we need supervision?" Daro'Xen again. Honestly, each person has a unique way of talking. If you don't get it…well you should probably play the series again.

"Depends on how long the Citizenship process takes. Once you get that sorted out, you are Alliance citizens, so you have access to the schematics immediately."

"Immediately? No precautions?" Okay, that didn't really leave much so you could tell. That was Tali.

KidShep takes over. And good, my throat is starting to hurt. Better go talk to the other ones after she takes care of this.

"I believe you are underestimating the things you need to go through to become Citizens. To become one of the Alliance races, you'd need our full and complete trust. There are very few ways to earn our trust these days."

Okay, I can't take anymore science talk. To the warmonger! "If you'll excuse me Admiral, I'd like to speak to the others."

"Of course. You've given me a little bit to think about."

Approaching Han'Gerral, I almost feel giddy.

**Is it because we like using the things we build more than talking about them?**

Yes, exactly.

"This is Admiral Han'Gerral vas Neema." Tali tells me. Neema, eh? Good ship.

"Admiral. Pleasure to meet you."

"Name, rank, and class. If you please." **What an odd greeting.**

"Matthew Gealtach, Commander, Grimm. Or Infiltrator if you prefer."

"I'm adding you to the list of people I don't want to fuck with. You are the second of three."

"The others being?"

"In order, Rael'Zorah, you, and your XO."

"Hm. Well, thank you. I feel honored. Unfortunately, I don't feel this conversation is going to be pleasant."

KidShep, Legion, and Tali who I cannot believe is still following me, look at me like I'm insane.

"Oh?" Han'Gerral says. Just…just oh with a question mark.

"I don't think I am wrong in thinking you are more of a military man than the others."

"You would be correct."

**Ah, appealing to the soldier in him?**

Obviously. Stating the obvious for the readers so they know exactly what I doing?

**Obviously.**

"The Alliance is preparing for war. I understand how you may feel about the Geth, but surely you can see their tactical advantage? To be perfectly frank, I'd probably have to work with Asari. I don't like Asari. I'm a bit of a racist…concerning Asari. I find none of them attractive, and all the ones I've read about are…well bosh'tets. But I'm going to use them. They can at least create barriers. The Quarians fighting side by side with the Geth? That'd give the 'almighty Reapers' pause. Don't you think?"

"I'm not an idiot. I overheard you talking with Daro. But you are right. If the Geth are sincere, then we may be able to come to an agreement."

"Geth do not lie."

"You should probably go speak with the rest of the Admirals. I'm sure Zaal'Korris would be eager to speak with…Legion. One last question though. The Reapers. Do they really exist?"

Do they exist he says…I open my Omni-tool and send him the public Alliance records on the Reapers.

"We made the files public, so any who read them and aren't completely stupid can be free to join the fight against them. Feel free to read them at your leisure. Thank you for your time."

Walking away, I see him staring intently on his Omni-tool.

**Doesn't take a genius or a god to figure out what he is doing.**

Porn?

**Porn. Also the Reaper data.**

So not porn?

**No, probably not.**

Time for an…interesting talk with Zaal'Korris.

**Oh yes…interesting indeed. Hehehe…**

What?

**Whatever you do make sure to question him on his ship's name.**

Tali speaks up. "This is Admiral Zaal'Korris vas Quib Quib. Do not ask about the name."

Evil evil evil evil evil evil evil evil.

"You have a ship named Quib Quib?" Hehehehe.

"Oh, here we go…" Aw, poor Tali…

He takes his stance…arms behind his back...and speaks.

"Our people have, during difficult periods, purchased pre-owned vessels from other cultures!"

Tali shakes her head…hehehe.

"And have, on occasion, had difficulty altering the ship's registry information! The citizens of these foreign named ships have borne the stigma of these names with grace and honor."

**Quib Quib…oh good times…good times…wait…wasn't there something that comes after this part?**

"If it bothers you, maybe you should find another ship." KidShep? What? Why speak now?

"I've occasionally entertained the idea of requesting a transfer. Something with a nice respectable name, like the Defrahnz or the Iktomi. But I am proud of the Quib Quib. And I will not flee because of petty insults."

**Oh yea…I forgot about this part.**

Did…was this part of original script of Mass Effect.

**I'd say yes.**

So…a dick joke.

**Ayep.**

You had no hand in this.

**Anope.**

Should I point it out?

**It won't earn you any points with Tali. Send her off first.**

"Oh Tali?" I look over to her. " Be a dear and make sure our father won't kill me when I go speak to him please?"

"Our fath… Oh! I will…I mean, he isn't our father, we aren't married, and I don't think the Fleet would allow it-"

"Breathe Tali." KidShep…always gotta spoil my fun.

"Right…" And with that final note, Tali heads off toward da I mean Rael…

**Hurry. That distracted us.**

"Right, Zaal, I feel obligated to tell you this. You would have the name Zaal'Korris vas Defrahnz, or Zaal'Korris vas Iktomi?"

"Yes? Is there something wrong with that?" He asks tentatively.

"For a Quarian? No. For a human? Yes. Vas Defrahnz…is a part of the…male reproductive organ…and vas Iktomi…is a surgical procedure on the male reproductive organ to make him sterile."

"Matthew… Did you need to?"

"Yes I did KidShep. They are going to be fighting alongside us. And the Geth, but also us."

"Wait, are you serious?" **Sorry about that Zaal…**

"Yep. Although personally I have great respect for the name Quib Quib. Can't say anything more about why though. Han'Gerral figured out what I am doing…so what are you going to choose? Ally with us, or join the Alliance?"

"I cannot say."

"Ah, come on. I don't want to have to go through the whole spiel about 'greater peace, and community' with you. You are a smart guy, just…keep in mind I'm talking to everybody and will probably have significantly more tack."

He pauses… "If you must know, I am voting for joining the Alliance. We can do much with Geth assistance. So much more with the full Alliance."

Yay. I don't have to do much.

"Thank you Admiral." I say with a sigh of relief. "I'm going to go speak with the rest of the Admirals…hm…Legion, why don't you stay here and converse with the Admiral while I go talk to my future bride and her father."

"Understood, Matthew-Savior."

Narrating is such a bore…I walk away, and leave Legion there to discuss…whatever with Zaal.

The next thing I hear is Rael…yelling at Tali…oh no he doesn't.

"…and you just walk with him making friendly with the rest of the Admirals? We don't even know their true intentions, and he just walks all ov-"

And a punch in the face for Rael. "Don't yell at my beloved like that, you ordered her to be the liaison between our governments, she did her job and more!"

I'm pretty sure everyone is looking at me like I've gone insane.

"Matthew, are you aware that you've just caused a diplomatic incident?"

"Fully aware, KidShep."

"Just checking. So we going to have to kill our way outa here, ya think?" She cracks her knuckles.

"No. Give it a minute. Victor?"

**Yea, you punched your love's father. I got nothing except reverse time. Would that help?**

"Well, crap. Victor says he can't do anything. So it's either we kill our way outa here or-"

**Deus ex machina?**

Yea that'll work.

"Rael, what did you do?" Shala'Raan? Why is she-

**Shush! The plot is talking…**

"What did I do? What did I do?! This human attacked me!" Rael screeched, in a loud enough voice to be overwhelming, but not loud enough to warrant attention.

"And from what I've heard, he was defending your daughter." Shala gestures towards Tali who slightly perks up. Didn't I just knock her dad to the ground?

**Yea, I have no idea how dues ex works either. It just does.**

You are a god, and why are we talking?

**Quick, narrate!**

Shala is berating Rael. Hehehe. "The human is in the right here, you are a father before an Admiral, and you would do well to remember that. We may be a Fleet among the stars, but soon will have a home. And people we can all brothers and sisters."

**Well we know where Shala stands. A definite two out of five.**

"Shala, we don't know if what they are saying is true. We don't know what they stand to gain from all this?"

Really Rael?

**Tell him.**

"Want me to tell you what humanity stands to gain from the Quarians joining the Alliance?"

All eyes are on me now. Well not literally, and not metaphorically either. Most of those within ear shot are looking at me now.

"We get the most technologically gifted race in the galaxy. The things you could come up with while allied with us, we'd have more advanced tech than the Mass Relays in a few generations! The Alliance is, at its core, a name meaning advancement between species. We wanted technology, so we built amazing things. We wanted culture, so we made beautiful works of art. We want the Quarians. So we ended a war, and made it so they can go back to their home world. Build a house near the ocean…and just live peacefully with the woman I love…that's what I get out of this."

"You mean 'we' Matthew?"

"No I didn't KidShep. I plan on marrying Tali, building a house on near the ocean, and living peacefully with her until she dies of old age, and I die from muffin overdose an hour after her."

Shala'Raan kind of sighs, and holds her head in her hands. "Why are you so fixated on Tali. She hasn't even come of age!"

"Well by Quarian standards yes. Human standards say a woman is of age at age eighteen. Also, I'm willing to wait."

"Matthew…you didn't answer her question." Yea yea yea KidShep I know.

"Do I need a reason to love her? I saw her, I think she's beautiful, and the brief time I spent with her told me quite a bit about her personality. All of which I love."

**Rael is being very quiet.**

"And you are aware that you cannot have children with her?" **Spoke too soon didn't I?**

"Well…technically we could. If I were to get gene therapy, I could give her as many children as she wants." I look over at her. "How many do you think? I'd like two, one boy and one girl. But we could easily fill the house if you'd like."

"And you are also assuming she shares these feelings." Rael, Rael, Rael…

"I'll wait. If she doesn't love me now, then I'll try my hardest to make her love me of her own will."

"But…" Tali? "But you could have any woman…why would you want me?"

**Fuck these suits, and fuck these circumstances, and fuck you Matt I want to hold her in my arms right fucking now.**

So…do…I…

"Tali…do you have any idea how difficult it is for me not to run up and embrace you right now…Okay, deep breathe…in…out…" I make that phew sound that it would be weird to actually say. "Tali, I love you. I'll say it until my voice cracks. I don't want any other woman. And believe me when I say, you are the nest woman. Any man would kill to have you. Hell, I'd go and murder the Council if you asked…little creepy KidShep?"

KidShep manages to answer in quite a respectful tone. "You were fine up until the murdering the Council thing."

"Well to be fair, I really hate the Council."

"Excuse me, not to interrupt your declaration of love, but the Admiralty Board needs to render their verdict." Shala'Raan seems very accepting of me.

**Yea… I wonder why.**

Pretty sure there is supposed to be a question mark there.

**Why? I'm not asking you a question, not am I asking you a rhetorical question. I was merely informing you about what I am wondering…about.**

Fair point. Oh, they lined up again and are talking.

"Is the Admiralty Board ready to vote?" Shala makes such a good mediator. Also, the four of them nod.

"Is the Conclave ready to vote?" She checks her…podium thing.

"Please begin."

Holy shit so much orange.

**Are all of them voting via Omni-tool?**

Looks like it.

**Damn.**

"The votes have been tallied."

**Heh.**

Yea…

"The war with the Geth will officially end. If the Geth delegate accepts, we will send a small scouting party to confirm that hostilities have ended, and the home world is truly being rebuilt. They will also have the task of locating a decent place to land the Civilian Fleet, and help prepare for our arrival. And should the Alliance delegates accept, we are prepared to join them on the galactic stage. If there is no other business? Then meeting adjourned."

**Hold on let me check something…and yes. A chorus of what is basically, 'fuck yea' and a few grumbles. **

Eh, not bad. So where are we chapter wise?

**Oh, we far surpassed our self inflicted word limit. We should end it here. The call to Hackett can wait no?**

I agree.

**So we have the Quarians in the Alliance then. I honestly did not expect that dear readers. I expected it to be at least a few chapters before they were all 'let us join your super cool club' and also the whole thing with the Geth? Three hundred years, and only a little bit of animosity. Ah, well…until next time.**


	5. The End of the Beginning

Mass Rejects: The End of the Beginning

**Well. Sorry about that dear readers. It seems that with all the things I sent the meat bag posting the chapters, his computer broke. Sucks to be him, I guess. So, let's get back to where we were…ah, yes. We have the Quarians now, and Tali is…well so damn adorable. Matthew! Begin…the **_**story**_**.**

Um…right…I'll do that. Anyway, after a few heartfelt goodbyes. Mostly from me to Tali…I decide a wedding present would be fitting. So I gave her a shotgun. On par with that of the Council Spectres HMWSG Master X shotgun.

**A shotgun? Really?**

KidShep repeats this. "A shotgun? Really?"

"Okay, really now. What's wrong with a gift that is actually useful? It's not like that was the ring I planned to give her."

"What?" KidShep asks. "A ring? My god, you are really serious about this…well, I wish you the best. Be good to her though, she seems like the type that would break easily."

I snicker. "I bet she could tear you a new one…yea okay maybe she could in a few years…and by then you'll be stronger and more you know what fuck you guys let's go report to the Admiral. Victor! Time skip if you please!"

**Time skip. To Admiral Hackett's debriefing.**

"Interesting. You did what we asked you to do and more. But, was wooing Admiral Rael'Zorah's daughter really necessary?"

"What? No, I wanted to be her husband. Simple as that."

"…Well then. You are no longer required to be under surveillance. Any plans?" Admiral Hackett asked with a smile. Like he freaking knew I had planned something.

"Actually, yes Admiral. I'll be stepping down as Commander, so we will need to prepare the ship for a new crew. I'd like to train the new recruits. Also, I'm forwarding a file for you to use. It contains names of planets and dates for KidShep to adhere to." I open my Omni-Tool and sent Hackett the file that…says what I just said out loud."

"Doesn't seem too complicated…shore leave on Elysium…a place in the Marine squad searching new sectors…this seems doable. Oh, and one last thing before I leave you to tell the pilot to return. The Geth arrived at Earth a few hours ago. Surprisingly, we added them to the Collective very shortly after that. Congratulations. All Geth now have full citizenship in the Alliance. Normally the process would take a lot longer, but the Geth are special. They gave us access to their inner workings, and from there it was a simple matter to prove they had our best interests in mind. Hackett out."

He turns off his hologram thing. Victor how excited are we?

**Oh, very excited. Relay your orders to the crew. While I go back to popcorn.**

Indeed I shall.

"Attention crew! I have new orders! Once we reach Arcturus station, I will be stepping down as Commander. So…shore leave I guess? Yea, all of you take some shore leave. And Legion, report to Alliance Intelligence. Your orders are to integrate yourself into the Alliance military and maximize your killing potential. The rest of you are to report to Rear Admiral David Jonhnson and find out where you will be assigned. Just…I guess do what all of us are doing and prepare for the Reaper Invasion. Anything else?...hm…no. That's it. Good job. I'm going to get some food. I think I deserve a muffin."

**Yay! Muffin time, muffin tiiiiiime!**

So I walk downstairs to the uh… cafeteria I guess is the best word. I'm the only one there, if you don't count KidShep sitting over there. She's reading a datapad, doesn't even hear me get my muffin.

**Can you blame her? We got peace between the Geth and the Quarians. They will be joining the Alliance. We've been busy. That's a fair chunk of Mass Effect 3 just gone.**

He has a point…so this muffin should be good and _WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING!?_

**MATTHEW, THE AUDIENCE!**

RIGHT, SHIT! UH, THERE'S A BIG FUCKING EARTHQUAKE! KIDSHEP AND I DART UNDER THE TABLE!

**MATT, WE'RE IN SPAAAAAAAAAACE!**

OKAY FINE A FUCKING SPACEQUAKE!

**Jeez, you don't need to yell…**

...it's over.

"Matthew…" the pilot speaks over the comm. "That…shouldn't have happened. All reports show it was internalized. The source of the…" he trails off.

"Spacequake?" I offer him.

"Yea, the spacequake came from deck three. The mess hall."

Wut.

**Wut.**

"What?" KidShep asks.

**Oh crap…the muffin.**

The muffin?

**The muffin.**

"The muffin!" I shout.

"The muffin?" KidShep asks.

**You eating a muffin causes a…well to say the words out loud would give you a four point increase in IQ. When you eat a muffin, the universe alters itself by a tiny fraction. You tell KidShep while I go find out what changed.**

* * *

"Listen, Sidonis…" **The Turian says intoxicated. **"No matter what you do, you keep your friends alive. Even if you can't do anything, even if it seems hopeless, even if everything in you says to do something else…you keep your friends alive…" **Whoa. That's…how will that turn out I wonder?**

"Dad. You are drunk. And when you drink you aren't a very good Turian." **The other Turian says.**

**The older, drunk Turian laughs. **"I guess so…" **He takes another drink of his alcohol.**

**Hm. So I guess nothing will happen. Still, nice of me to make a note for the dear readers.**

* * *

"So Victor, what was that all about?" I say.

**Eh, some words were spoken. Words that probably weren't said before. But it didn't seem to leave any sort of impact on the greater scheme of things. Time will tell. So did KidShep accept the almighty power of the muffin?**

Maybe. She didn't give me an answer. She just left. So what do we do now?

**Avoid muffins. And continue where we left off.**

Right. Arcturus Station. The trip over was fairly uneventful after that.

"SSV Rapax this is Dock 26-E. Verify your identity."

"This is Commander Matthew Gealtach. Verification code 634 dash 737 dash acorn."

"Verified. Glad to have you back."

**Well here we are. We have set the stage for Mass Effect. My way. While this isn't the end of the chapter, I'm going to recap anyway dear readers. The Rachni belong to the Alliance. As do the Quarians and the Geth. The politicians will work on the rest while Matthew goes to train a few squadrons. I'll keep you appraised of the events that will happen. As well as the events that I ignored in favor of playing with the Quarians and Geth.**

Goodbye, dear readers…I won't miss you, as I've never met you. Now get on with the overview!

**Right…so Saren became a Spectre. That happened…Oh, Zaeed and Vido formed the Blue Suns that'll work out nicely. Edan Had'dah found Nazara. Some more Batarians found the Leviathon of Dis. A Reaper corpse. Anderson and Saren team up, and well you know the story. **_**Don't you?**_** Vido betrays Zaeed. Ouch, he'll pay for that. The Quarians are finally admitted to the Alliance. Jack is admitted to Cerberus for experimentation, under the authority of the Alliance. The base goes rogue soon after, and no one knows about it. You heard about Mindoir during the first chapter. And what happened to the Batarians soon after? Integration, dear audience.**

**Oh, geez, so much more… A-61 Mantis Gunships are created. Cerberus kills the Pope. The Zioph burial ground is found, and we leave it alone. We figure the dead can't talk. Kaiden and Ash finally enlist in the military. The MSV Hugo Gernsback drops out of the sky. Cerberus helps to assassinate the President. And stop. Elysium. That'll be fun to go over…**

**First of all, there were still a lot of Batarian pirates. The attack was thus not funded. So the equipment was under rated. Third rate Mass Accelerator weapons. Second, Elanos Haliat was actually a Turian. Because humanity was not much liked, a lot of Council Species thought they could attack you. Big mistake. The Guass weaponry, along with our new Quarian and Geth allies annihilated the ground troops, managing to gain the upper hand thanks to the leadership and raw combat ability of one Lisa Shepard. She is awarded the Star of Terra. How nice. Moving on.**

Wait wait wait. That's it? You aren't going to go straight into the mind of KidShep and see the Skyllian Blitz through her eyes?

**No, Matthew. I am not. If you want to know more, just…hrm… Go read a fanfic about that. It's not what happened, but any of them are close enough to what happened. The readers have been very patient Matthew, and deserve to just get on and read about Mass Effect through your eyes.**

Eh…fair enough. Continue.

**Minor plot here, the Eclipse Mercenaries are hired to fight the Na'hesit faction over the decision to enslave other Council colonies. Hm. So it isn't slavery in general, just other slaves. Ah, now this is interesting…the Hanar, Elcor, and Volus embassies ask the Alliance to take in the Drell. The Council aren't too happy about this… James Vega joins the military. Kai Leng receives an N7 Commendation. Then gets kicked out. The miners at the T-GES Mineral Works facility find a Leviathan artifact. Oh, wait this is interesting. The Spectres did Akuze this time. And…wait for it…Yay! Only KidShep made it out alive! Well, not counting Corporal Toombs. But, it seems that Cerberus is helping rebuild the colony and killing the thresher maws. How…nice? Ah, now on to Torfan…**

Actually, let me handle this. Seeing as I'm the 'Butcher of Torfan' myself.

**Oh? Lead on…**

I don't like slavers at the best of times. I had gotten my squad out to clear out one base with minimal casualties, and to me that means zero casualties…that was until I found the slaver pits. Then I got mad. I ordered my squad to leave the planet and make sure no one escaped. Then I…well if I told you, you'd go as mad as I went. Basically, 'Butcher of Torfan' was given to me because when they found the bodies, they were in bits and pieces. Blood and organs were strewn about on the walls and on the ceilings. They said I could handle myself well, and when the entire crew made it back alive…and gave them their report and explored the tunnels…They praised me for my dedication. They filmed on location, sent the vid to criminal organizations galaxy wide, and when my psyche report came back, the Admirals said that I was the definition of ruthless. An exterminator to call in when people need to die.s

**And now to the fun part…The Normandy is given to David Anderson with Lisa as Executive Officer. The year is 2183. KidShep's story begins…now.**

**Well not now. Apologies for the short chapter, but then again, screw you, this is five pages long. No summary here, as that is what I just went through.**


End file.
